Lets Rewind
by BecauseYourMine
Summary: They had made their choices long ago and now they had to live with them. Everyone always knew they were more then just friends, but they didn't realize it until it was too late to do anything, but look back and remember all the chances missed. AU. LP.
1. 22

A/N: Ok, I'm not gonna lie. Its been a long time. Nearly a year, which is shocking to me. But here I am, with a new a idea, and something I've never done before. A chapter fic. Now, I'm not lying when I say this is different. And maybe a little confusing. So let me break it down. This first chapter is sort of the prologue and also its in "the present". Each chapter that follows will be in the past, and tell this fic in reverse. Once things are all clear, I will get back to the present. It's just gonna take a while.

-This is whole thing is dedicated to Steff! Thanks for the push, and for also always keeping the LP fics going, by consistently and awesomely writing them! =)

_ll Asking You to Stay,_  
><em>The words are finally Here,<em>  
><em>Lets Rewind, And Rewind... ll <em>

"P. Sawyer!" Brooke yells over the receiver.

"Hey Brooke!" Peyton shouts back into her cell as she tries to hold the phone to her ear and carry another full box from her bedroom to the hall.

She's always hated packing. Who wants to shift those things and decide what to keep and not to keep? Who wants to lug boxes and make sure things are properly label, when you know that things will either get left behind or put in the wrong box? Sorting and packing and moving just sucks.

But then again this time it was different. Peyton was packing up her apartment, the one she's had for the last four years, and she was finally going home.

_Home._

It seems like it's been forever since she's really called Tree Hill her home, but in the back of her mind, it's always been the one place you knew she belonged. In spite of all the hurt and bad things that have had happened, something about that little town has always brought her a comfort she's never really understood.

Really it has more to do with the people in that town, then the town itself. And as things go, she is the last one everyone is waiting for.

Brooke's been back for the last year. After finishing design school in New York, Peyton's best (girl) friend opened a boutique two doors down from Karen's Café. And as Brooke's mentioned on more than one occasion in the last year, when she realized her own ally in their small town was Lucas, she was more than eager to get Peyton back home. But as Brooke has also mentioned, the last month hasn't been so bad now that Nathan and Haley have come back from California.

The almost married Scotts had been away at Stanford, and after Haley finished her degree in Education, and Nathan very happily received word that he had been drafted to the Charlotte Bobcats, the pair decided to make Tree Hill their home again too.

So now they were all just waiting on Peyton.

"So are you almost done packing? Excited to be coming home? Can't wait to see Me?" Brooke rambles, so happy that her best friend is finally coming home. It's been a long few years, but Brooke always knew that no matter what Peyton would be back. She had promised after all. However drunk they might have been when they had promised each other, they had promised it none the less.

"Yes, yes, and yes.." Peyton laughs at her friend. She knows its been awhile since she's lived in Tree Hill, but its not like she didn't visit tons, or have her friends visit her. But she also knows that things are different now. All of them have come such a long way since high school. They've lived and experienced. But more than that, they've all have come to realize that there is no place like home. And that's why she's almost relieved that it's finally her turn to be going back.

"Good. So am I still picking you up tomorrow from the airport?" Brooke asks. She technically has to do inventory tomorrow, but nothing (_especially math_) comes before her best friend.

"Yeah, the movers should be here by 8 to pick up all my stuff and then my flight is at noon…" Peyton responds distractingly as she starts to pack her bookshelf and a photo album on the top shelf catches her eye.

_ll You See Your the Only Star,_  
><em>In the film I never Made.<em>  
><em>Would You Rewind it All the Time<em>  
><em>Rewind it all the Time... ll <em>

That old book had seen better days.

But she could only smile as she looked at the cover. Looked at that picture of two kids with blonde hair and matching smiles.

She can still remember that day.

Her and Lucas had been playing in her backyard when Peyton decided she had had enough playing outside and wanted to draw instead. And of course Lucas couldn't tell her no. Somehow or another when the young girl couldn't draw the next door neighbor's dog right, she decided it was time to try to draw her best friend instead. But he wouldn't sit still. That was the thing about Lucas that Peyton could only laugh about now.

He could never tell her No, but when he didn't want to do something she literally had to force him to participate. So finally Peyton had taken measures into her own hands and went and got her Dad's camera. She figured it would be easier to draw from a picture then bother to tell Lucas one more time that it would be just five more minutes. When her mother walked in and saw the two arguing about how Lucas should pose, she only laughed and instead had the two still together, arms around one another and smiling, to the take picture.

The following year for her sixth birthday her mother had given her the album-with the picture of the two kids placed on the front cover- to keep all her favorite pictures. So that's what she did. Every year after that, no matter what, she would be sure to add at least a full page of pictures to that album.

There was a picture of her at seven, with a green cast on her right arm (from when she fell out of a tree) and Lucas standing on her left with a bandage on his head (from when she fell on him because she fell out of the tree).

There was a picture of her and Brooke wearing pink jackets and poodle skirts for Halloween. They were the Pink Ladies from Grease. And if you looked closely, you could see a very dorky looking Lucas dressed as superman in the background, trying to run so his cap would move behind him.

As she flipped through she caught glimpses of some of the most important moments of her childhood. The way she saw it, it was only because of who she was sharing those moments with in those pictures.

Eventually she got to the end, and while she knew she had two or more of these albums somewhere else already boxed, when Peyton looked at the last picture, she realized that that picture was why this album was her favorite.

It was of all five of them during the summer before she turned 15. That had been one of their best. No one had other commitments or obligations. No camps or summer school or family trips. It was just them and the sun and fun. Her favorite picture was of them at the beach, on the sanding laughing about…well she doesn't remember anymore, but considering how happy they all look, it must have been hilarious.

And what she realizes as she puts the album in a box labeled "If it breaks, you die", is that's why she wasn't nervous or scared about going home after four years away at college. It was because she's going home to them. All of them. Yes, things are different now, and Ok, they might be considered grown-ups. But really, they're still the same kids at the beach in that picture. They're still all friends (for the most part they're more then that now). They're still young (is 22 old?). And most importantly, nothing will ever come between them (She knows that for a fact).

"Peyton? _Helllooo?_ Are you still listening to me?" Brooke asks, frustrated that her friend isn't giving Brooke her undivided attention.

"Huh?" Peyton responses, completely lost in her own thoughts.

"I said, did you want to go to the cafe tomorrow afternoon for a late lunch with everyone?" Brooke says for the second time.

"Um…yeah, sure." Peyton answers still not fully focused on what Brooke is saying. But she learned a long time ago it's easier to agree with Brooke Davis than anything else.

"Is everything gonna be ok with you and.." Brooke begins as delicately as possible. She knows it has to be brought up. She also knows its slightly her fault for what happened last year, and why things aren't great between Peyton and Kate.

"_Yes! Jeez, Brooke…_I don't hate her, you know? I was neutral, hell I didn't care. But then you.." Peyton says accusingly, as she remembers what happened last summer. Okay, maybe she does hate her, even if just a little. She just won't admit to it.

"Okay, Okay P., I got to go. But call me tomorrow before you take off." Brooke cuts her off, before the whole debate starts all over again. She's not quite sure how things got so complicated. But that's what happens when Tequila gets mixes into suppressed feelings, right? So Brooke's not entirely to blame, right? Even if she threw those thoughts out there, she knows they were already in her blonde friend's mind.

Brooke has always known. She had realized it well she dated (can you call three weeks dating?) Lucas and saw how he watched Peyton from across the quad as they sat together for lunch. It was why she broke up with him, after she saw how Peyton looked back at him that day in the quad. Its way she's been nudging them for years.

Its also why shes so pissed that they never got it together. Why she really hopes Peyton and Lucas will just stop denying it and get married and have babies already... _Jeez._

Her best friend is in love with their other friend.

But Peyton won't act on it (She's not scandalous enough to wedge herself between Lucas and his fiance).

So Brooke is gonna have to (try again) to do something about it.

"Will do B., Bye." Peyton says tiredly as she closes her cell. Ok, so maybe not everyone will be excited to see her, but she's hopeful the situation will improve now that she's coming home.

She's hopeful, but she's not stupid.

You can't call you best (boy) friend's girlfriend (who is now his fiancé) a bitch and not expect for things to be awkward.

_Oh well._

_ll It's a long Way Out,_  
><em>I'm asking you to Stay,<em>  
><em>The words are finally here,<em>  
><em>So let's rewind ... ll<em>

"Guess who I talked to, who talked to someone who is coming home tomorrow?" Haley says with a laugh. That's probably the most confusing thing she's ever said, but she's just too excited to care.

"What?" Lucas asks as he sits across from her in his office. His new office. Because he's just become the new head coach of the Ravens and now has the entire weight of Whitey's legacy on his shoulders. But all he's doing right now is to not laugh at his friend and her weird way of starting a conversation.

"I talked to Brooke, who talked to Peyton, who confirmed that she will be here tomorrow!" Haley rambles out.

"I know. I talked to Peyton yesterday, before she talked to Brooke, who talked to you…" Lucas says jokingly with a raised brow.

"Oh…" Haley responses with a sheepish smile. Can you blame her for being excited? The last time they were all together was last summer for Brooke's huge 21st birthday/ Fourth of July weekend. And needless to say the tail end of the weekend was memorable for a whole other reason.

"Well, aren't you excited?"

"Of course, my other best friend is finally coming home…" Lucas says with certainty.

"But…." Haley questions.

"But nothing. I can't wait for her to be home. You and Nate have been home for a month now. And Brooke's been here for like a year. And it's been great, its just-"Lucas motions with his hands as he tries to explain.

It had been a long 4 years. While Nathan and Haley were off at Stanford, and Brooke was in New York and Peyton was at UNC, Lucas was here, in Tree Hill. Left behind. Ok, he wasn't exactly left behind, but sometimes he felt that way. Of course it had been his choice, and a choice he didn't regret. But it had definitely been hard to stay and go to school locally so he could stay and be there for his family. It was certainty hard to watch as everyone else experienced new things and met new people, while he stood and kept the Body Shop going doing the week and ran Tric on the weekends, while juggling school and stuff at home. Not that he would complain. Not that he ever did, to anyone. But it had been hard. Really hard. Working and going to school and trying to help his mother as much as he could.

But it had been worth it.

Now here he was, the brand new head coach of his old high school basketball team. He still had all those other responsibilities, but now they felt less like burdens. Now he had something that was just for him. His own dream to pursue. And he was more that sure that he would do great at it.

He also had someone, to help him carry his burdens. Someone who he loved, and who would very soon become his wife. But as much as he loves his fiancé he was also aware of the fact that she didn't get along with his best friend. Which he understood, to a degree, only he really didn't get it. He's a guy, could you blame him?

"Just?" Haley repeats his last words. But she doesn't have to guess what he's thinking. She knows that technically Lucas has a right to be unsure now that Peyton is coming back, because things between her and Kate, while it's all sketchy at best. But really it's all just ridiculous, and why both girls can't just put it all aside for the sake of it, is even beyond Haley.

Well, ok. She sort of knows why things are the way they are. But still….

"It's just I know Peyton and Kate don't exactly get along. And yes, Kate is my fiancé, but Peyton is my best friend-my other best friend." Lucas says as he smiles knowingly through his explanation. It's always been a running joke between the group. While Lucas might consider both Haley and Peyton as his best friends, things were always just a little bit different about the relationship between the two blondes. (Just a little bit, more.)

"And you don't want to be put in the middle?" Haley answers with understanding in her voice.

"Yeah…" Lucas says annoyed by the whole situation. To this day, he's still not exactly sure all of what happened. It all seems so childish and stupid really, but for whatever the reason those girls have never been able to get over what happened last summer at Brooke's party. And what's more madding is that neither of them ever want to talk about it to him. Like they're afraid that after he hears the whole story he choose one side over the other. Like he'll choose one girl over the other.

"While Brooke mentioned something about lunch tomorrow, are you in?" Haley mentions hopeful. She really wants to say more on the subject. About why he's so bothered about the whole thing. About why he can't just dismiss how Peyton feels, even if she tried to explain. Why a part of him has already pick a side, and won't admit to it.

She knows.

It's been the hugest freaking elephant between them all, since…the beginning really.

But the years have passed, and many, many things have happened along the way. And what she's learn is that it's better for everyone not to get in the middle of those two blondes. She learned that through past experience. And yes, that might be the most naïve and dangerous thing to do. Haley knows that choice might just lead to the of all their friendship, but she just can't get in the middle. Not again. Not after last time.

Even if she really wants to. Even if she thinks Lucas is marrying the wrong girl.

Well, hopefully now that Peyton is coming home, things will finally get set straight. _Or not._

But Haley is the eternal optimist, so she's _really_ praying for the first option.

"Sure..yeah." Lucas say uneasily. He doesn't know why he's so nervous about her coming home. It's not like they lost touch through the years, or changed. They're still the same. Well, the same in all the important things.

He still knows her favorite movie. Its "It's A Wonderful Life", which is very surprising. (He found that out three Christmas' back).

He knows she would rather draw outside then inside. Apparently she feels more when she's outside.

He also knows that no matter where his life has taken him (or hasn't taken him), there has always been something looming between him and her.

Something that feels more than friendship.

Something he knows shouldn't be there, but just is.

Something that's been there, since probably the beginning and yet has never been really been thought about then more than just a _"What If?'…_

_ll Do We Make it to the Sequel?_  
><em>Second Chance for Our Survival? ll<em>

She had been waiting for the last twenty minutes, luggage in hand, for Brooke to show up. It's not like she could forget about her. She had called before she left, as discussed. She had given her the flight number and terminal. And yet here she was…Waiting.

She was just so annoyed that she was ready to go the cab line and have him take her to Brooke's boutique just to yell at her for forgetting.

But then she heard him calling her. And when she looked up and saw her other best friend standing there waiting for her, it all came back to her.

That feeling in the pit of her stomach. That special smile she had only for him. The reason she consciously (or subconsciously, she still isn't sure) called his fiancé a Bitch last summer.

She may never admit to it (or never dare act on it), but when she saw him standing there, with a smile just as bright as it was when they were kids, she knew she couldn't deny that she was in love with her best friend.

And she probably had been since the beginning.

Only she didn't know it back then, when it might have actually mattered for something. And it most definitely didn't matter now, because he was about to marry someone else.

It somehow just happened along the way. Somewhere between falling out of trees and playing tag. Between Third period French and Junior Prom. Maybe it was after high school. Like after she broke up with her boyfriend during her second year of college and Lucas came to check up on her. Or during finals last semester, when he was the only one could talk her down from the ledge when she was stressing out. She's not really sure when, but it's been there. Maybe always.

But it just doesn't matter anymore right? They had made their choices and those choices had led them to here. With him engaged. And her back home after four years away. So it just didn't matter anymore.

He had been in the middle of working on plays, when Brooke had called with a certain something in her voice, that she couldn't get Peyton after all, and he was the only one who could. Now he knew Brooke Davis. They had known each other for years. Dated (very) briefly for three weeks during the summer before Freshmen year. And he was more then sure she was lying about something coming up, and she just really wanted him to pick up Peyton. Now he wasn't gonna say No- He never could say that word when it came to Peyton- but he also wasn't stupid. Their friends had been pushing them together for years. He never complained because she was _Peyton_, and who would complain about spending time with her? And he always assumed she never said anything because he's her best friend and they get along like it.

And thats why he's never acted on anything. Because she sees him as her Best Friend. As only her best friend. They had promised each other years and years ago, that they would always be best friends. He had no business breaking that promise. Right?

But as he saw her standing there waiting, it took everything in him to stay in the present. To where he had a fiance, who he loved. Who he was gonna marry and be with forever. And he wouldn't break that promise either. He had worked so hard to do the right thing, for everyone. And this was just another choice he had made long ago, that he couldn't take back now.

"Hi." She whispered as she walked closer.

But before he responded back, he was pulling her into a bone crushing hug, and thinking he wished he didn't have to let go.

"I missed you…" He said softly into her ear.

And right there, with those three words, he hoped she heard everything he couldn't say to her that he really wanted to.

_I'm so happy your finally home._

_I wish you never left._

_I love you, more then can I explain._

"I missed you too." She said with the same tone, hoping that he understood that she really meant all those other things too. Even if she should even feel those things.

Because even if she shouldn't, it was all still true.

_/ Oh, we all need a Hallmark Ending,_  
><em>And a change of Heart.<em>  
><em>Lets Rewind, and Rewind... ll<em>

TBC...

-  
>So Like I said, starting the next chapter we're gonna go backwards in time, sort of explain how they got to this point. If anything is confusing I don't mind explaining. I sort of blame the fact that I'm a history major, and as I was working the past few weeks researching for one of my last classes, me and my Prof. started to discuss the essence of History. We finally came to the agreement that people always have a choice, and each choice -whether they realize it or not- can change their lives. So we study history to understand those choices my going backwards in time and piecing it together to make a story. Does that make sense? Does this fic make sense? I don't know, you tell me. LOL<p> 


	2. 21

A/N: So, first I got to say I was so surprised that anyone reviewed. So Thank You all So Much for the reviews and the input! And as many of you has expressed a dislike for Kate, the fact is is that this will be the last chapter with her it in, for a while. Like a long while. What I also realized as I read through this, is that LP don't really interact in this chapter either, but believe me they will be. A lot. This is a LP fic after all.

*Word of Warning: I have never done a chapter fic before, so I'm not used to updating regularity, but I know that at the very least I will be updating at least once a week if not more, usually on Thursday or Friday nights, so keep a look out. Any other concerns or questions, I don't mind answering them. Thanks Again! =)

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

_ll To Make A Mountain of Your Life Is A Choice... ll_

There's something to be said about being around Tree Hill for summer. Lucas has never really been able to figure out why he loves this time of the year, but it definitely is his favorite. Maybe because it seems that above all else, it feels like summer is the one time of year that everything kind of reverts back to when they were all young and care free. When there were no obligations and responsibilities. When his friends weren't going to colleges across the country, or having deadlines for designs, or trying to work on one more project for Art Classes.

Though the last few summers they had all always made it back, if only for a few weeks. So no matter what was going on, when that time came, everything got put aside, and it went back to how things were before. Just the five of them, doing whatever they wanted. And usually spending every moment with each other. And never once feeling like it was a waste of time or silly.

Lucas would be the first to admit, that maybe they got carried away sometimes. Like last summer when that had a water balloon fight at 2 in the morning at the Rivercourt, because they had nothing else to do and it was still too damn hot to be inside. Or two summers ago when the girls got sick of watching all the guys play basketball and left on a drive, only to have an impromptu road trip to Charlotte that somehow resulted in a flat tire for Peyton's car and the realization that Haley seriously had an amazing voice (Apparently they had tried to past the time waiting for the tow to come by singing Beatles songs).

That was the amazing this about summers when everyone was home, there was no telling what could happen. While some days seemed to drag on and the five friends had literally nothing to do which usually ended in trouble. Other days started with simple plans – like meeting at the Rivercourt or the Café – and somehow became some of the best days ever.

And while that was all and good there was seriously something more to be said about being home for this summer.

Because this is the summer that they will all finally be turning 21, and it sort of feels like one last hurrah. This is the last summer that is still a summer. When technically they're still a bunch of college kids and not "grown ups". When they can still do crazy things and get away with it simply because they don't know any better. None of them (only Lucas, but he's always been the responsible one away) have real jobs or commitments, and even if they do, they're furthest from their minds. So they were gonna make the most of it; some more than others.

"Okay, explain to me again why I had to come with you. And why we had to come this early?" Lucas asks as he pushes the shopping cart full of liquor down the aisle. He knew that any call from Brooke Davis at 7 in the morning would only result in one thing. Trouble.

"_Because_…I needed all this for my party. And since Haley and Nathan are busy being... _engaged. _And there was no way in hell I was gonna deal with "scary morning Peyton", so you my other blond friend is the only one who has an I.D. to purchase this." Brooke stated as she continued to check off things from her shopping list. You could count it a shopping list if it consisted of 10 different types of bottle of alcohol?

"Brooke, please…like you don't have a fake I.D." Lucas whispered as he looked around.

He's not dumb. This crazy girl has been buying alcohol for years. He can still vividly remember the graduation party she threw a few years back. They had all had drank so much that it made sense to them to sneak up to the roof of his mom's café and wait for the sunrise too come. And yet that night as they watched the stars and brought up stories that hadn't been spoken of in years, when Haley very seriously told them they had to promise to always stay friends, it was a promise they were all willing to make, and till this day, continue to keep.

So if Brooke has never really cared before if she was buying liquor legally or not, the question Lucas had, was why she really had wanted him to help?

He's almost scared to ask her.

_ll But I never learned enough_  
><em>to listen to the voice that said,<em>  
><em>Always Love, Hate will Get you Every time... ll<em>

"Seriously, Brooke…what's up?" He final gets the courage to ask as he watches his small brunette friend struggle with stacking another case of beer into the already overflowing cart.

And damn it Brooke thinks as she tries to stay calm, she's been caught.

So ok, she didn't need to use him for his I.D. Because it's true Brooke Davis has been pulling off looking far older than what she was for years now, and fooling the cashiers around here has never been a problem. Nope, that wasn't it. But she's not quite sure how to tell him, that she's holding out hope that he will dump this new girlfriend of his- Brooke met her last week when she started in at the Café after flying in from New York.

Kate (That's the dumb girl's name) and Lucas had been having lunch and when he had waved Brooke over to join, she just couldn't resist sitting and sizing up the competition. Well, not her competition because that ship had sailed and crashed years ago. But as Peyton's best friend, she certainly felt obligated to look out for her. It's not like Peyton has ever - at least knowingly because there was that one time, but anyways – said that she and Lucas was more than just friends.

But come on, it's as obvious as the sky is blue and the earth is round.

Those two blondes have been in love with each other for probably as long as Brooke has been smart enough to recognize love, and well she's always been highly perceptive to these things.

But they have also have been through so much, that it's understandable that they haven't been more forward, but only to a degree. And well some people would accept that maybe those two just aren't ready, Brooke is not a patient person either. She knows they're not getting any older, and if Kate wasn't a reminder that time was of the essence, she didn't know what was. And while yes Brooke had tried her schemes before (too many times to count), she was anything if not determined.

So she sat and had lunch with the two lovebirds that day, and she learned a lot. Like how the two met (By chance, Kate's car had got a flat and Lucas just happened to be working at the shop that day and had taken the call). She learned that they had a lot in common. (Kate had just transferred to the local paper and covered sports. Sports!). Needless to say, Brooke was worried.

And not worried like she was a few years ago when Peyton was seeing what's his name, and was supposedly in love.

This was different. Because if she didn't know any better, she would say that Kate might just be perfect for Lucas. And what was worse, was Peyton actually seemed to like Kate. They had all went to dinner two nights ago after Peyton got in, and Kate had met up with them afterwards at Tric. Brooke literally was shocked silent as the two girls sat and listened to some band play and genuinely enjoyed each other's company, talking music no less. Yeah, Brooke was at like level 5 worried, because things had escalated too fast for her mind to come up with a plan to halt the breaks between Lucas and Kate, and then make Peyton and Lucas see what was right in front of them.

So that's why she had called Lucas and forced him to help her. Brooke Davis had to see just what she was working against. She knew it might not be her place, but she also knew, just knew something had to be done. Even when Haley had told her to stay out of it. (Her exact words had been, if it's meant to be it will be.)

Well, Brooke knew it was meant to be (Hell everyone had always known), but she just wasn't sure if her two friends knew. And that's why she's worried. Kate might be a replacement for who Lucas doesn't know he should be with.

"Can't a girl want to spend time with her friend?" Brooke asked with a shrug and a smile, as they turned the aisle and made their way to the check stand.

"Sure she can. Just not at seven in the morning or to buy insane amounts of alcohol." He says with a laugh.

"Right. So how's Kate? She seems like a nice girl." Brooke states without a second glance, trying to change the subject and seem less suspicious.

"She's good. Unfortunately she's spending the weekend back in Wilmington. I guess the 4th of July is a big deal for her family or something." He mentions, still not sure why they're talking about his girlfriend.

He's glad that everyone has seemingly been so accepting of the girl, because when he told her all his friends would be coming for the summer, she had definitely expressed her concerns. That they would take up all his time and he wouldn't be able to tell them No to anything. But after he explained that his friends would love her, and would be more than to include her, she seemed OK about it all. What surprised Lucas was that they had been so supportive. Everyone had just welcomed the new girl, no questions asked. Haley and she talked about both being English majors and Nathan loved her because she knew basketball statistics like no girl he had ever met. And Peyton, Peyton had tried to include her at Tric the other night, which Lucas had really appreciated.

The blonde girl knows smile as his girlfriend had went to take a call that night had been the silent understanding he had hoped for. It was just like before when Peyton had been the one bringing a boy home. After a huge fight between the two blondes, because Lucas hadn't been welcoming, the two had come to an understanding. He would be more willing to let the guy enter the group to make Peyton happy. But he also made Peyton promise that when the situation was the other way around, she had to be just as kind. And here they were, him with a new girlfriend, and it was obvious that this was payment for his sacrifice in the past.

"Oh really? I was hoping she would be there for my fabulous party this weekend..." Brooke says as the wheels start turning in her head. She had originally planned this whole weekend for herself. Turn 21, enjoy the fireworks, have fun with her friends. But this just turned interesting.

The whole weekend at the beach. (Less clothes) Liquor. (Lower Ambitions) And Brooke doing everything in her power to push the two together (Romantic).

There was no way this plan could fail.

Finally she would be able to convince her two friends what was right in front of them. They would definitely have to name their first child after her for this.

"Why?" Lucas asks, because the glint in Brooke's eye is telling him that something just isn't right.

"Why, what?" She answers back trying to think of what she can do throughout the weekend to have the two blondes finally fall madly in love.

"Why did you want her there?" He questions, not completely buying Brooke's cheery tone.

"For you, obviously. And also because another person, means another present for me…" She rasps out. There's no way she's letting this plan get ruined before it's even begun.

Lucas isn't exactly buying that but it's just too early in the morning for him to even argue.

_ll Slow demands come 'round,_  
><em>Squeeze the air and keep the rest out...<em>  
><em> It helps to write it down, <em>  
><em>Even when you then cross it out. ll <em>

"Ok Everyone, Listen Up!" Brooke yells over the crowd. This is her party, and she'll yell if she wants too.

"Yes, technically my birthday is not till Monday...but since this is 4th of July weekend, I figured we could celebrate the birth of the nation and Brooke Davis together since they are both so important." She says as her friends can only shake their heads at her. They can only laugh, because they know she's totally serious.

"So drink, and eat, and don't forget any and all presents are very much appreciated." She motions to the table that's already overflowing with gifts.

And with that the music starts to blare again and people start to mingle and as Brooke looks around, she is nothing but sure that this night will be one no one will soon forget.

"Jeez Brooke..." Haley gets out as she pulls her crazy friend away from the crowd and towards the kitchen of the beach house.

"What it's my birthday..." Brooke says with a shrug and another drink of her cup. So she's a little buzzed. It's been a long day (plotting is hard work), and she's had a few drinks. But it's her birthday (Her 21st no less), so whatever…

"Yes, yes we know…" Peyton states as she walks in on her very drunk friend's explanation. She can't really blame her she doesn't even remember what happened two months ago when it was her 21st.

"So where are Luke and Kate at?" Peyton says simply, even though nothing about her question is simple.

Ok, so she's seriously been bother about Lucas and Kate, when she knows she shouldn't be. Kate seems…great. She seems great, and prefect for Lucas. And he's happy and she's happy. So Peyton should be happy, right?

So why isn't she?

_ll But Always Love,_  
><em> Hate will get you every time.<em>  
><em> Always Love,<em>  
><em> Even when you wanna fight .. ll<em>

It's so stupid really, Lucas was so great when she brought Jake home last year. Even if she had to force him to be nice at first. Even if she and Jake have broken up since, it was an effort at least. And Kate really does seem like a nice girl it just…

"Kate can't make it; she's spending the weekend with her family in Wilmington." Haley mentions as she tries to find something for Brooke to eat. If that girl doesn't get something in her stomach, Haley has no doubt that very soon Brooke will be dancing on the countertops. It's happen before.

"Oh..." Peyton responses with a small smile. A very small smile, because she shouldn't be happy that her best friend's girlfriend isn't coming tonight. But hey, it's not like she gets too see him all the time, she should be happy to know that he won't be occupied tonight and they can have a friendly night, as friends.

"Who cares, she's a bitch anyways..." Brooke slurs with a wave of her hand as a dismissal.

"Brooke!" Both other girls scowled at her. Clearly the alcohol has gotten to her.

"What it's true! That girl is the biggest B-I-T-C-H. Ever." Brooke states with clarity that her friend's thought she had lost two drinks ago.

"Brooke, you need to stop. That girl is sweet." Haley says trying to diffuse the situation and looks around making sure her other best friend isn't in earshot of this conversation. All they need is for Lucas to hear this right now.

But Brooke is kind of right.

Ok, so Haley would never call anyone a Bitch just because, but Haley doesn't necessarily like Kate either. She's nice enough, really. But Haley just feels like she's not the right girl for Lucas. Like she's trying too hard to fit in to a place that's already been filled. (By Peyton of course). But Haley has kept her feelings to herself and instead tried to find things to talk to Kate about like being English majors, when its summer and Haley could care less about school.

"Come on Hales…tell me that little Miss. Perfect isn't sort of a bitch…for you know, being so perfect" Brooke says annoyed just thinking about the girl. So technically bad mouthing the girl wasn't part of Brooke's plan, but who is it harming?

When Haley doesn't respond and can only smile at her drunken friend, it's obvious that she agrees, to some degree at least.

The three girls can only stare at each other and then laugh.

"Guys, come on…she's not that bad." Peyton says diplomatically. Even if she might totally think the same thing about the absentee girl.

"Who's not that bad?" Lucas asks as he walks in with Nathan and Skills behind him. They had watched the girls walk away, and when they didn't come back after a few minutes Nathan had suggested they checked on them, god knows what they could get into.

"Luke!" Brooke yells as she throws herself on him.

"Brooke...you're drunk!" Lucas yells out in the same tone, amused that his friend can't hold her liquor. It's sort of fitting, who does remember what happened when they turn 21? It's like a rite of passage or something.

"We were just talking about…" Brooke gets out as she slumps further into his embrace.

"Kate." Lucas says as he looks up at his girlfriend who just walked into the door.

"Hey! Happy Birthday Brooke! I left early, and you told me about the party so…" Kate says as she looks on as her boyfriend hold on to his friend. She might have skipped out on her family's annual 4th of July barbeque, but because she really wanted to spend the weekend with her boyfriend and his friends.

Who wouldn't want to spend the weekend with your boyfriend, when your boyfriend looked like Lucas?

"Yeah of course. That's great." Lucas slowly hands off Brooke to Nathan and then is reaching for his girlfriend for a hug.

"Yeah _Great.._." Brooke whispers as she looks on at the couple as they make their way out to the rest of the people so Lucas can introduce Kate to more of their friends.

And while Brooke was upset that her plans had been ruined by the arrival of the prodigal girlfriend, even though she acted like it didn't bother her, Peyton wasn't too happy too. Because as soon as Kate met everyone, it was she who Lucas was dragging down to the beach. And yeah, Peyton should be happy that her best friend was happy, Peyton just didn't have to be happy that he was so happy with Kate.

Yeah, Brooke was right. She was a Bitch.

_ll Self-directed lives,_  
><em> I want to know what it'd be like to<em>  
><em> Aim so high above<em>  
><em> Any card that you've been dealt... ll<em>

She had had a couple of drinks too many. But her best friend was turning 21, who wouldn't want to be celebrating? Ok, so maybe she shouldn't have had so many celebratory shots, but still. It was summer, and she was home and with her friends. She reasoned she was allowed to enjoy herself. But as the party had started to die down, she had needed some fresh air and ended up on the deck sitting and looking out at the waves as they crashed onto the beach.

She wasn't drunk, but she certainly wasn't thinking clear either.

"Hey Sawyer..." Nathan said as he walked up behind her and sat on the edge of the deck with her.

"Hey Nate." She whispered not bothering to look over at him.

"Were not gonna have to throw you in the tub like we did Brooke, are we?" He asks with a laugh. It had definitely been a long night, and the birthday girl couldn't make it till even midnight she had had so much to drink.

"No, I think I'm good." She said with a laugh.

"Nate?" She looked over at him, curious from sitting and reflecting so long.

"Yeah?" He answered back.

"Do you ever wonder if you've made the wrong choices?" She asked tentatively.

It's something that she thinks about often.

Should she have stayed after high school? (At the time it didn't seem like there was a reason to stay in Tree Hill, she knows now that that might not have been true).

Should she should have spoken up about how she felt? (It's something that has always been there, maybe since always).

Ellie had told her once, that the moment you start to live with regrets is the moment you start to lose yourself.

She had never wanted to be that kind of person. Someone who lived with What Ifs. But for the life of her she has never been able to just stand up and say how she felt.

She couldn't risk losing him. Not for anything, even if it meant not having the chance at everything.

At this point, something was better than nothing. So friendship would have to do.

So she had resigned herself to being his best friend, and sharing something that was so simple and perfect and untouched by complicated things like love. (Even it is so complicated because even if she doesn't say what she feels, she feels it all the same and it hurts all the same as she watches him with Kate).

"I forgot, you get philosophical on me when you've had too much..." He reasoned as he nudged her shoulder and remembered a conversation very similar to this a few summers back.

"Nathan…I'm serious." She said as she finally focused in on the other Scott brother.

"My mom told me once that regret only becomes one when we don't learn from our mistakes..." He said as he thought back on his life. Things definitely hadn't been easy. And there had been times when he had made the wrong choice. But it's different now that he's someone's husband. Haley has changed things for him. Made him a better man. So he can't really say he would regret anything that got him to where he was now.

"That's very profound Nate." Peyton adds with a smile. This guy that's sitting in front of her is a very different person than the boy she first met all those years ago. He's lighter somehow. Freer. She envies that about him.

"Yeah well, it's true. You can let it go Sawyer. The darkness, that weight that you carry around..." He says seriously.

He's not blind, he knows (everyone knows, really) that Lucas and Peyton should be more then friends. And yeah while Nathan thinks those two might be scared of what's in between them, he also thinks that too much crap has happen to them over the years for them to let it go and just be. Nathan's life might have been complicated before, but Lucas and Peyton's life has always seemed just a little bit more intense.

At least that's what he thinks, but what the hell does he know? He found the love of his life at 15 (before all the bad happened) and he never looked back.

But his answer is just too deep for Peyton. Instead she gives her friend one more sideways glance and then walks inside for another drink.

_ll Always Love._  
><em> Hate will get you every time...<em>  
><em> Always Love, hate will get you... <em>  
><em>I've been held back by something. <em>  
><em>You said to me quietly on the stairs. ll <em>

Ok, now she's had too much to drink.

It's pushing five in the morning and she's still up. Nathan and Haley passed out after two, and she never saw Lucas (or Kate) after they left for "their walk" on the beach. And Brooke's still passed out in the restroom. And Peyton, she's still up and still drinking.

She had given up on thinking logical hours ago- After Nathan's words it just got to real – and instead she's listing off all the reasons why she hates Kate, simply for existing.

When she was finally gotten to the point where she figured she hated Kate just because she had Lucas and Peyton didn't that's when she had reached her limit and figured there was no use the list to begin with, she decided to head up to her room and finally get some sleep.

She walked by the bathroom and knocked to make sure Brooke was still breathing in there, she got a groan instead.

"Hey B. I'm going to bed…do you know what happened to Lucas and Kate?" She asks as she hears the water faucet turn on. She knows that there together, but she doesn't remember seeing them come back and that was hours ago.

"Well, if you do...be nice. Lucas wouldn't appreciate if he heard us calling her a Bitch." Peyton said mumbling into the door as she laughs. Ever since she walked up the stairs things got a little dizzy. But as much as she hates Kate she loves Lucas more, so at the end of the day at much as it sucks to be "above it all" she knew thats what she needed to do. She owed him as much.

But when the door opens its not Brooke standing there, but Kate.

And Peyton can only stand their shockingly and unsure on how to resolve the situation as Kate angrily walks back in the direction of the other guest rooms. When Peyton finally did pass out that night, the only thought she had was that she was the one who was the Bitch.

So Brooke's master plan for the weekend had been somewhat successful.

A whole weekend at the beach did result in fewer clothes, just not for the intended couple.

And Liquor did lower the ambitions, of pretty much everyone. It certainty made it easy for Peyton (and Brooke) to call a perfectly nice girl a word that certainty shouldn't have been used.

_ll To Make A Mountain of Your Life Is A Choice... ll_

When Peyton woke up the next morning –well it was actually afternoon – the shadow looming over her as she tried to registered where she was didn't help when she remembered what had happened.

"Hey Boozy..." Lucas said with a smile as he looked at his hung over friend. Apparently Brooke hadn't been the only one who couldn't keep her liquor in check last night. He didn't really know what had happened the night before. After Kate had un-expectantly shown up she had sort of occupied his time. Not that he would complain about spending the night with his girlfriend, he was disappointed that he hadn't gotten to spend any time with his friends.

Especially the one he was currently hovering above. Unfortunately since she had been home the two hadn't had the chance to spend any time to themselves. He really wanted last night to have the time to catch up, really catch up.

"uhh.." She mumbled out still trying to get her bearings.

"So I have to ask you something." He starts off as he put his hand out to help her sit up.

When they came back from the beach this morning (they had fallen asleep on the sand) they had walked up stairs and Kate had a detour to change into other clothes. But when she came back, she was pissed off about something. And when Lucas asked her about it she only said one thing.

_Peyton_.

"What?" She asked with blurred eyes, annoyed that she was even awake.

"Did you say something to Kate last night when we got back from the beach?" He asked trying to read her. Judging from the way she had her head down and was taking so long to answer, he knew she had.

"I don't want to talk about it." She muttered as she walked out of the room, doing something that she did best.

Avoid and Run.

"What the hell happened last night?" He wondered out loud as he walked out of the room.

"Who the hell knows…But I sure can throw a party." Brooke rasped as she walked out of her room and followed behind him to their waiting friends in the kitchen.

Yes, Brooke Davis threw a party that would be one for the books. Only for all the wrong reasons.

_ll But I never learned enough  
>to listen to the voice that said,<em>  
><em>Always love, hate will get you... ll<em>

TBC...

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Song: "Always Love"- Nada Surf

*So I think that explains some of the first chapter, just a little bit more at least. Oh, and the title of each chapter is a number because it represents how old they all are in that chapter. Sorry I'm a history major, I love dates and long winded explanations and stuff. LOL =)


	3. 20

A/N: So what I've come to realize this week is that at best I can only really get one chapter done a week. This quarter, although halfway over, its just the most work I've had to do. Which considering I'm a senior and taking my last major courses makes sense. Who knew doing original research would take up so much time? LOLIn any case, here's at least that one chapter for this week.

**This chapter sort of has a flashback from a previous conversation between LP in there even though it hasn't happened yet because we're going backwards (sorry if thats confusing), so thats in italics.

Any reviews, questions, critiques are also encouraged..Thanks Again. =)

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

_ll We made plans to kiss the sun at night,_  
><em>Hopeless dreamers, hopeless types... ll<em>

It's just hours before Christmas when his nerve starts to falter.

He knows he should call her. But he's still just a little bit mad, not because of what they said to each other, but because she isn't here so he can apologize and then they can go back to how things are, and enjoy Christmas.

But she isn't here, and she's isn't coming and that just sucks.

He wishes he could blame Jake and the fact that the idiot lives in Savannah and not closer to Tree Hill so Peyton could be home and celebrate the holidays with all their friends like they've been doing for years. Hell he wishes there was no Jake at all. But maybe more than anything, he wishes Peyton would have chosen Tree Hill (Him) instead of going to Savannah (Jake).

None of that matters though because it's almost Christmas and they're not even talking and it's all his fault.

But he doesn't want to call (she always told him he was more stubborn than her) because he's still super pissed, and he feels like if he apologizes it will be like admitting maybe he isn't as important to her as he thinks he is. That they're relationship is not as strong as it seems to be.

At this point though he would much rather hear just about anything from her than nothing at all.

_ll Shedding skin you show your beauty scars... ll_

She's almost glad that everyone thinks she's in Savannah because she doesn't want them to see her so- broken down and just plain hurt.

And yes she knows it's dumb to feel this way. This is just a break-up with some boy and maybe if they couldn't get through something like this they shouldn't be together.

But she love(d) that boy. Really loved him, like no one before him. And the things he said and the way he acted just hurt so much. And so that's another reason why she's almost ok with staying at Chapel Hill and not driving to Tree Hill, because she knows, _just knows_ that when her friends find out, two things will happen.

First she'll get some "advice" about the break-up.

She can only imagine the pep talks she will get from the boys (that Jake was a loser and she deserved better), and realistically the very differently structured talk she will get from the girls (that sometimes it doesn't work out and as much as it hurts now she'll be strong and keep going).

And then once they find out why her and Jake broke-up, it will be an entirely different story.

The boys will get angry (and threaten bodily harm) and the girls…well the girls will probably react the same way.

But she doesn't want to think about any of that right now. She would much rather stay here- in her wrinkled pajamas- and watch Christmas movies and eat Chinese for Christmas. Of course that's not true (who would want to be alone on Christmas?), but she just doesn't want to go home and hear Lucas tell her he was right along about the kind of guy Jake was. She doesn't want to ruin the holiday for everyone else with all her mope-ness.

So staying in Chapel Hill (and crying for the rest of the Winter Break) is really her only option.

_ll So don't forget me or who you are. ll_

He was trying, very unsuccessfully, to read through Dickens _A Christmas carol_ (he's read it on every Christmas Eve since he was a kid). After everyone (meaning Haley, Nathan, and Brooke) had left and his mom and little sister had gone to bed he had tried to stick to his tradition and pulled out the old book. But when he couldn't take the silence anymore, he finally caved and dialed her number.

"Hi…" Peyton chokes out, as if she's trying to keep from crying. (Lucas just knows that from the one word respond).

When he called she had been laying on the couch staring (and crying) at a picture of her and Jake that held been taken on one of their first dates. They had gone out to dinner and then went to get coffee at a small café. What had been so special about that night was when Jake magically produced a guitar and had sang to Peyton when there ended up being free space during the Café's open mic. It was probably the first time she had realized that what she felt for that boy was something she had never really felt before. Love.

So when Lucas called she'd tried to hide the tears and just answered because she knew if she didn't he would worry that she was more mad at him than she really was.

"What's wrong?" He automatically asks as he tries to stay calm. It could be nothing…or everything. He wasn't quite sure, and that only makes him feel all the worse for not calling sooner.

"Nothing, it's nothing really." Peyton says more firmly as she wipes away at her remaining tears and tries to focus on the call.

But Lucas isn't buying that. He's known this girl for years (practically his whole life) and he's always been able to tell what she was feeling, usually what she was thinking too.

"No, I'm pretty sure it's something…Now was is it, you don't like Savannah or something?" He tries his best to sound sincere, even if he's truly not. And he knows he should at least try to fake it better because that's how this fight started to begin with.

_ll You know that this don't feel right,_  
><em>Who knows what we feel? ll <em>

_"Happy Christmas Break" He remarks happily._

_She had finished with finals a day before him and he had promised that the moment he had finished his last one he would call so they can talk about what they had planned for break. She had yet to miss an opportunity to come home (Chapel Hill was only a 2 hour drive after all) and he really couldn't wait for her to be home, especially considering it was Christmas._

_"How was the last final?" She asks him, trying to think about how she's gonna tell him about her change in plans._

_She had already talked to Haley and Brooke early that day and while both girls (although sad to hear the news) had been understanding none the less (about Peyton's decision and also about not telling Lucas before Peyton had the chance to tell him herself.) They knew how much Peyton cared for Jake and just wanted her to be happy._

_"It was fine. Who wants to take a Calculus test?" He asks rhetorically as he makes his way to his car in the student parking lot. He was glad that the test wasn't as hard as he thought it would be. He had finished early enough that he would have time to get to the auto shop and look over the days orders and then make it to the Café so he could have dinner with his Mother and little sister._

_It still amazed him just how little time of the day he always seemed to have. School, the shop, still helping out with the Café, and now helping with his sister. Sometimes it felt like he barley had enough time to think than get everything he had to do done. But the way he figured, if he didn't do it all, who would?_

_That was another reason why he was so anxious to see Peyton (and the rest of his friends), because whenever he needed them, they would be there for anything. To listen and give advice. To actually help with his day to day responsibilities (the girls doted on his sister and Nathan never minded helping at the body shop if they were short staffed). But Peyton, her just being there, was enough for Lucas._

_"So when are you leaving for Tree Hill?" he asked distractedly as he pulled onto the highway. He knew that he wasn't supposed to be talking and driving, but he was like a kid on Christmas day, he just couldn't wait that long to talk to his best friend._

_"Well…that's what I wanted to talk to you about." Peyton admitted as she closed her eyes and tried to steady her breathing._

_She knew that everyone would be disappointed, but especially him. When it came down to it, for so long it had just been the two of them, and with everything that had happened, Christmas had always been an important time for the two. To lean on each other and be there for each other._

_"I'm not coming home for Christmas." She finally said._

_ll I just met you I can read your thoughts,_  
><em>What they tell me is what I want.. ll <em>

"I didn't go to Savannah." Peyton tells him, scared of his reaction.

"What? Why?" Lucas says urgently. He can only picture her now at her tiny apartment all alone. And the thought of that girl by herself makes Lucas hate Jake just a little bit more than before. Because, he knows something happened between Jake and Peyton, because she was so adamant about spending break with Jake that something must have happened between the two for her to not be.

"I…I'm just didn't." Peyton whispers out. She doesn't want to sound as bad as she feels, because she knows how protective Lucas is of her, and all she needs is for her best friend to have another reason to be pissed with her.

"Peyton, just tell me. Did something happen between you and Jake?" He asks with clenched fists.

He had never liked Jake. At all. And it had nothing to do with the fact that the guy was just a bit too cocky for Lucas' liking. Or that the first time they met Jake was all over Peyton and he seemed possessive. No, a lot of it had to do with the fact that Jake had everything Lucas wanted, even if he would never admit it.

Jake was at the school Lucas had been dreaming about going to since he was a kid. (But he had responsibilities at home too important to ignore).

Jake played on the basketball team at that school. (Giving up basketball was still something he hadn't been able to accept).

But worse than all that was simply that Jake had Peyton. (Lucas had never set it out loud, but the things he felt for his best friend were definitely more than friendly).

Of course he knew that Peyton only saw him as her best friend and that's why he didn't speak his dislike of Jake. Even if it was obvious enough that Peyton noticed and all but told him to be civil.

While being civil was out the door now.

"We broke up…" she finally tells him.

"Oh." Lucas whispers out. He almost wants to smile, wants to jump down and cheer. But he can't, because his best friend is still hurting, and that most certainly does not make him want to smile.

_ll I'll keep you guessing,_  
><em>keep you wanting more.<em>  
><em>Cause where we're going no one knows... ll <em>

_"What happened?" He asks as he tries to concentrate on the road, all the while gripping the steering wheel tighter._

_"Jake asked me if I wanted go with him home for break. And while, I told him I would…" She almost finishes with a sigh, because as crazy as it sounds she's almost ashamed to tell him her decision._

_They had always spent Christmas together, always. And since the night of Brooke's graduation party two years back, they had all made a promise to come home and be together for the big things. Well Christmas was more surely a big deal for all of them, and the fact that she was coming, made Peyton feel like she was letting them (Him) down._

_"How nice for you." He says sarcastically and with a shake to the head even though she can't see him do it._

_"Lucas, please…" She tries to say reasoning with his tone. But it's no use._

_"No, no that's great for **you**. I'm sure you will have a wonderful Christmas with Jake and his family." He almost yells out. He knows that he sounds like some jealous maniac but it's just a little unnerving that she's so willing to just go off with some guy and not spend the holiday with him and their friends._

_If she has no problem missing Christmas, who's to say she won't miss another? Or decide not to come home when she graduates? Or just never come back at all?_

_Ok, so maybe that's overdramatic, but what the hell? Christmas has always been their holiday. Since they were eight years old and she spent it with him and his mother. (She had lost her mother the summer before and then unexpectedly her father had to leave on a job). Ever since she had spent every Christmas with him and he didn't want to think of that changing._

_He knows that he's a coward for not telling her how he feels (it's just never been the right time), but coming to the realization that just maybe it's too late to do anything about it terrifies him._

_"Luke it's just Christmas, this Christmas. I'm sure I won't even be missed." She tries to argue with him, but his tone of voice isn't leaving anything to debate._

_She knows he's angry and hurt, and she's sure if the roles were reversed she would feel the same way. But what she wishes he understand was that Jake means something to her. He's important in her life now and the fact that he asked her home for Christmas is just another reminder that they're relationship is a serious one. It was so hard when Peyton first left for UNC. The plan had always been for the two of them to be going to this school. He would study literature and she would major in Art History. They would share an apartment and a life (and she had always hoped even more) and would be in it together. But that hadn't happened. Obligations popped up and somehow along the way Lucas decided to stay in Tree Hill, and that had left Peyton stuck. Of course she didn't want to go to Chapel Hill by herself and live out their dreams alone. But what she came to realize was that she had no reason to stay in Tree Hill (He never gave her one)._

_So she went to that college town alone, and she found an apartment and then eventually a routine for herself. She had her classes and a part time job and made new friends, she found a purpose within all the shuffle of live. And she absolutely hated it. She hated that she lived alone (even if she had done it for so long, at least in Tree Hill Lucas was always there if it got to quiet). And she hated the fact that she was missing all the things that were going on in Tree Hill, mainly all that was happening with the small Roe/Scott family that she had considered her family for years and years._

_But then she met Jake. And he was sweet and he cared and worried about her. And somewhere between dates to Café and serenades of songs he wrote about her, Peyton got over the feeling of loss she had felt ever since she left that small town (boy) behind. So when Jake had asked her the night before to spend Christmas with him in Savannah she felt torn. Between the past and the present. Between two boys, when really she shouldn't have felt that way. And when she realized that she (reluctantly) agreed to Savannah._

_"Sure, it's just Christmas…" He gets out with a huff of frustration. He's so damn mad that he doesn't care how childish he sounds, and also he doesn't pay much attention and almost crashes into the car on his side as he tried to merge into a lane. He honks his horn and yells a few choice words at the driver._

_"What was that? Are you driving Luke? Damn it you know you shouldn't be doing that!" Peyton angrily scowls him, scared that something will happen because he's not paying attention._

_"Just like you shouldn't be going with Jake?" He answers back._

_"You know what I'm gonna let you go, because clearly you can't handle a phone call and driving at the same time." She tells him, upset by his reaction to her news, and just for making her feel worse than she already did._

_"Fine, I guess I'll see you when I see you then..." He tells her harshly._

_"Fine." She says and then hangs up on him._

_ll I just met you, I swear I read your thoughts,  
>So don't forget me or what you want.. ll <em>

"Where are you right now?" He asks her just to be sure of his next move.

"At my apartment..." She answers him almost puzzled at the question. If she's not in Savannah or Tree Hill where else would she be?

Lucas does smile at that and then instead jumps from his bed and heads straight for his door.

"Right, so…what happened?" He asks to distract her.

"I don't want to talk about it…" She says dismissively not at all subjective to the prospective of telling Lucas what happened. He didn't like Jake to begin with; this will make it all the more worse.

"Come on, I know you. Once you tell someone you go from being sad to angry to almost back to normal. So tell me." He reminds her.

It's her process. It always has been since 8th grade with her first boyfriend (Michael Stevenson).

She will fall for a guy and be happy for a while. And then when it doesn't work out (usually because the guys a jerk), she'll break up with said boy and the process will begin.

She usually talks to Brooke or Haley about things first and they get her through phase one (Sad and Heartbroken). Then she'll talk to talk to Nathan (because he'll always have her laughing about whoever she just broke up with). And then finally she'll talk to Lucas and he'll treat her like he always has. With patience and kindness that reminds her that whoever boy she broke up with was nowhere near as good of guy as Lucas. But then she reminds herself that their friendship isn't worth risking for anything (see above process) and so she will instead end up with someone else and then inevitably the cycle will begin again.

So finally she relents and tells him.

"We got into a fight about New Years…" She admits.

"New Years?" He says puzzled by the reason.

"Yeah, I told him it would be great if we could spend it in Tree Hill…" She explains.

They had been literally almost out the door when she had made the suggestion to him. The argument that ensued because of it finally made her see just what big of mistake it had been to choose her boyfriend over Tree Hill.

"What was so wrong with that? You spend Christmas in Savannah and New Years in Tree Hill." He thinks out loud. That could have worked. It would have suck to have to spend that night with Jake, but if Jake came with Peyton then so be it.

"Jake didn't like the idea very much. He said…" She tries to tell him without crying about it again.

"What did he say?" Lucas asks, thinking about how fun its gonna be when he pounds on Jake for upsetting Peyton. He had warned him last summer. He told him, if she were to shed one tear because of him, he would kick his ass, and well Lucas has never gone back on his word.

"He said that there was no point in coming to Tree Hill because I had no family to come home to." She finally says as the tears begin to fall from her eyes again. She can't help it. Jake wasn't perfect, but she had never expected something so low to come from his mouth.

"That dick..." Lucas gets out.

"Luke..." She scowls at him.

"God Peyt…you know that's not true. _You know that._" Lucas tries to reassure her with sincerity in his voice that is reserved for her alone.

Lucas isn't gonna kick Jake's ass. Nope, he's gonna kill the guy he thinks as he grips the phone tighter in his hand and tries in vain to pay close attention to what's in front of him.

"I know." She whispered out, like she didn't necessarily before Lucas.

"Peyton, listen ok. You have a family who loves and cares for you. My mom and Lily." He says with a laugh that he hears Peyton give too. It was still an inside joke how much Lucas' little sister loved Peyton. So much that she had said "Pey" instead of "Lu" just this past summer.

"And Nathan and Haley and Brooke." He lists off. Yes to the rest of the world they might seem like just a group of teenaged kids who were friends, but they all knew that what they all shared was a lot more than that.

"And you're Dad, god he loves you so much." Lucas knows her Dad is somewhat a sore subject for Peyton. For obvious reasons, but he has no doubt that Mr. Sawyer loves his daughter (in spite of everything).

"And let's not forget the most important person…" Lucas trails off calmly.

"And who's that?" Peyton questions, her spirits lifted by just the simple things he's told her.

"Me, of course." He says in a matter of factually tone, which only makes Peyton finally have a real smile.

_ll Light up the stage, make your move, give me something._  
><em>Tear off the mask, the face you hide is what I'm missing... ll <em>

"Not to get off the subject, but can I ask the obvious?" Lucas asks her.

"I'm afraid of what the obvious might be, but sure..."

"If you didn't go to Savannah, why didn't you come home?" He asks, deep down knowing her answer.

"The truth?" She tells him shyly.

"The truth would be nice, but if you lie I can tell, so…" He mentions to her as he checks the time. It's later that he thought, but he's not worried, this late hour is definitely working in his favor.

"Right, well after our talk... and then what happened between me and Jake, I sort of figured it would be better just to stay here…" She tells him, knowing he'll read through her explanation perfect.

That she was hurt by how he acted, and didn't want to fight anymore. That breaking up with Jake sucked, but what made it worse was the fact that they (_Lucas&Peyton_) were fighting and had yet to resolve it.

"About the last time we talked…I'm sorry for the way I reacted." He apologizes honestly. Because really he had been a jerk and he shouldn't have been so harsh (or jealous) about her wanting to go with her boyfriend for break.

"I'm sorry too. I know we said we would always make it home for the important things and I was being selfish and-"She rambles on, realistically seeing her fault in everything.

"No, no it was my fault. It wasn't a big deal and I made it one and that's not fair." He says diplomatically even though he feels like it's not too much to ask for his best friend to always want to come home.

"That's true too." She says smugly, just because she knows he hates to apologize (that's why he always tries to do right by everyone, he hates to do the wrong thing and then admit it, that boy is so stubborn) and it's always fun to hear him squirm a little.

_ll We made plans to kiss the sun at night..._  
><em>Hopeless dreamers, hopeless types. ll <em>

"Well now that's settled, what's stopping you from coming home now?" He asks with a hint of restlessness.

And she can only laugh, because in spite of everything, of how much they've grown and changed, he really is still the same boy who hated not to get his way.

"You realize that it's-"She stops and checks the clock. "Almost midnight and almost officially Christmas. I think it's nearly too late now…" She sighs at the realization. What the hell was she thinking, who wants to stay home alone for Christmas? Jeez they made a movie showing how much it sucks to be, why would she think it would be Ok for her to do it? Well, there's nothing she could do about it now, so she might as well make the most of it and not make her friend feel bad for her.

"It's fine I'll just have a quiet Christmas this year, watch my all time favorite movie and call it a day.." She says reassuringly.

"What's your all time favorite movie?"He asks curious, he seriously doesn't know and has no idea why that is.

"Lucas Scott, you don't know what my favorite movie is? You are such a crappy friend." She accuses with a laugh.

"Nope, I don't sorry." He admits regrettably.

"_It's a Wonderful Life..._" She tells him with a smile that he can somehow feel over the phone.

"That's your favorite? That's so…normal." He says astonishingly.

"Hey!" Peyton shouts at his remark.

"Sorry Peyt, but seriously that's such a cliché." He tells her.

"Why is it your favorite?" He asks expecting to hear the answer everyone gives about that particular movie.

"Because George Bailey has always reminded me of you." She says embarrassed to tell him that he's connected to her all time favorite movie.

"What?" Lucas whispers, shocked by her admission as he stops in his tracks and stands in front of his destination.

"Come on Luke…you'll like the best guy I know. You always take care of everyone and you've sacrifice more then you should. You've given up on your dreams and become responsible for your family. And I'm pretty sure that if I never knew you I might have turned out to be a librarian like Mary did.." She rambles with a laugh.

And Lucas' heart beats just a little faster. That might be one of the nicest things she's ever said to him, and to top it all off the fact that she compared herself to George Bailey's true love in the movie means even more to him.

"Wow.." Lucas whispers out through their quiet (and now slightly awkward) pause.

Peyton is just about to try to explain her way out of her candidness when she hears a knock on her door.

"Hang on a sec.." She tells him as she gets up, a little frightened considering the time, and opens her door.

_ll One was turning, one was standing still..  
>I won't forget what was promised here. ll <em>

And god is she surprised when she sees a smiling Lucas standing at her front door.

"Hi.." She greets him, shocked as she shuts her cell phone.

"There was no way I wasn't gonna let you spend Christmas alone. Pack a bag and lets go home." He tells her as he smiles at her.

She can only smile in return, pull him into her apartment, and then put her arms around him.

"Merry Christmas Peyton..." He whispers into her ear.

"Merry Christmas Luke." She answers back.

And this is just another time Lucas Scott has just proven her theory right. He's the best guy she knows. He's kind and considerate and would do just about anything for the people he cares about. It also reminds Peyton that no boy will ever mean more to her than this one. (She'll never love another like him either.)

Lucas is just glad that she's happy to see him. He's relieved it was so late and he was able to sneak out of his house (without his mom worrying) and drive so fast (because no one in their right mind would be driving at that moment) to Chapel Hill and bring his friend home. Where she belongs (with him). He loves this girl and he'd do anything for her (even pretend to be just her friend), so a two hour drive to come get here is really nothing.

_ll You know this don't feel right,  
>Who knows what we feel? ll <em>

**_TBC..._**

Song: "Plans" by Birds of Tokyo


	4. 19

A/N: So I've been gone for a while...Sorry. Really the last week school has been killing me, and unfortunately I still have 4 weeks and in that time I have to write a 20+ page paper, a complete lesson plan and presentation to go with and then study for my regular finals. Then to top it all off the USB drive I have this fic on got lost and then when I found it, it was damaged. So yeah, this isnt actually what I had written before, but it's something right? LOL

**Flashback is in italics.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

_ll When your down and troubled,_  
><em>And you need a helping hand,<em>  
><em>And nothing, whoa nothing is going right... ll<em>

It had happened two years ago.

When it had happened everyone had called it a horrible accident, but all Lucas saw it as was a mistake. For a good week afterward all he could think was that they were all wrong and it wasn't true and it was a mistake, because he just couldn't accept what had been taken from him and his family as an _accident._ He had grown up believing- because ironically Keith had always told him so -that when you're a good person, and your kind and compassionate, good things would happen in return.

Well, his Uncle had been the best man he knew and the fact that it had ended like that, an accident was something Lucas couldn't understand.

Even now, (after two years) sometimes he would be at the shop or with his little sister and mom and he would become so angry because he would think that his Uncle should be standing there with them all, smiling and laughing and happy.

And the fact that he wasn't just _was_ a mistake.

He wanted to believe that it would get better, that it wouldn't hurt as much, but today...if still felt like it had happened yesterday.

Because really it shouldn't have happened. Not then, not like that. His mom and Keith had only been married for a few months. After years and years they had finally gotten together and then finally been married. And they were happy, hell Lucas was ecstatic. Everything was finally falling in to place and for just a little while it felt like it couldn't get better than that. Like nothing could hurt them.

And then one afternoon in March, one sunny breezy afternoon just as the leaves began to turn green and the flowers were about to bloom they ran out of milk. _Milk_. And Lucas' mom had asked him to stop and pick some up before he came home from practice. Only he forgot and when he got home Keith offered to go instead because it was getting late and Luke had to get started on his homework. So he rushed off trying to hurry to be back in time for dinner. He just never did.

It was a stupid mistake, and Lucas was never able to forgive himself for it.

_ll Close your eyes and think of me_  
><em>And soon I will be there<em>  
><em>To brighten up even your darkest nights... ll<em>

She had two midterms to study for and her apartment seriously had to be cleaned. She was suppose to work tonight and she still had to finish the shading on one of her sketches because it was due in two days. But none of that mattered at the moment.

The studying and cleaning, the work shift and the sketching was all gonna have to wait.

She had made a silent promise to herself (and to him) that she would never miss this particular day, so everything else wasn't her top priority. Instead that boy who was a two hours drive away was.

This day and what is represented to him was something Peyton always wished he didn't have to remember and feel. Losing a parent too soon and without warning. Because the way she saw it, just because it wasn't on paper didn't change the fact that Keith had always been Lucas' father. Even when Dan did eventually show up and try to be his father. Since the day Lucas had been born (Peyton had seen his baby pictures after all), it had been Keith there for him to guide him and love him like only a father.

So the fact that he had died, especially like he did had nearly broken Peyton, because it was all too familiar and harder to deal with because she knew, _knew_ what Lucas had gone through when it happened.

Feeling like it was your fault, even though you knew logically it wasn't. Feeling responsible and having to see everyone you love grieve when all you feel was guilt. He had told her (yelled it actually) that he had been responsible for his Uncle's death. And it had taken everything in her to try to make him see that it wasn't true. That he was not the one to blame and had horrible as it sounded, these things just_ happen. _She knew he didn't buy that, because even after years and years she still blamed herself for her mother. For the fact that she was rushing to pick up Peyton and never made it too.

So even if this day was a unnerving reminder for Peyton because she understood all too well. And even if all that it entailed was him and her sitting right next to each other, never speaking a word (because they didn't have to) that's where she would be.

Maybe that was why the silence didn't matter either, because she knew that whether he said it or not he couldn't take being there alone (she was the same way).

So while she had a ton of things to do today, she would put it all aside and drive the two hours back to her hometown. She would pull up to his house and honk twice for him to come out like it was any other day. And then she would drive him to the cemetery, sit with him all day, and when he was ready to go she would drive him where ever he asked her too. It's what she had done last year, and it was what she had planned to do for every year to come.

Because that's what best friends did for each other.

_ll You just call out my name,_  
><em>And you know whereever I am<em>  
><em>I'll come running, oh yeah baby<em>  
><em>To see you again... ll<em>

He got up that morning to a quiet house.

Which would probably be odd on any other day, but he knew his mother. He knew she would try to stay strong and regardless of how hard it was she would press on and go to work (with Lily in tow) and spend the whole day busying herself with things. Lucas wished he could do that, but he just couldn't act like this day hadn't nearly broken him two years ago.

So he got up and he waited, because he just knew she wouldn't forget.

Like he knew Haley (and by default Nathan too) would wait to call him till tonight to check up on him and his mom. Like he knew Brooke would text him sometime during the day, some sweet words and probably some funny comment because she knew he would need it.

He knew they would do all those things like he knew_ she_ would come and be there for him like he was every year for her. _He just knew._

So when he heard a car honk he didn't hesitate to grab a jacket and his keys and make his way outside. He didn't question getting into that old convertible of hers and putting on his seat belt as she sped away from the curb and towards the direction of the cemetery.

_ll Winter, spring , summer, or fall,_  
><em>All you have to do is call<em>  
><em>And I'll be there,<em>  
><em>yeah, yeah, yeah.<em>  
><em>You've got a friend. ll<em>

_It had been lunch time when she ran off before a teacher could notice, curls bouncing and tears falling from her eyes. He didn't really know what to do, it all happened so fast. So now here he stood watching as she became less visible, all the while as he heard Brooke threatening Megan Michaels for making Peyton cry because Megan had said Peyton didn't have a mom or dad anymore._

_He knew he would get in trouble if he left the school like her, but having to write standards for the next week seemed like a small punishment for doing it. So he went, as fast as he could and didn't look back. He eventually caught up to her at least two blocks away from their school and at least six from where he knew she would be headed._

_He didn't say anything he just walked beside her._

_"Go back Luke, Mrs. Donnelly is gonna get mad and call your mom…" She told him trying to wipe the tears that wouldn't stop falling._

_She wasn't surprised that it was him who had come after her. He had been doing it ever since last year when it had happened. After she missed a few days of school, it had been him who had showed up on her door step and asked if she was ok. It had been him who would now sit and swing with her telling dumb jokes to make her smile, even though she knew he would rather be playing basketball with the other boys._

_He was her best friend, and he was always there for her._

_"That's OK, she didn't even see me go.." He reasoned as they kept the same slow paced._

_"Hey Peyt…" He said as they crossed the street automatically grabbing each other's hand before they looked both ways. They might have bailed on school but they both knew the rules of the road, they were eight after all._

_"Hmm…"_

_"knock, knock." He said trying to think of a new joke to tell her. It was his thing, he just couldn't stand to see this girl looking so sad. He never could, that was probably why he could never tell her no._

_"Who's there?" She said already smiling. Because really Lucas was the worse joke teller. He wasn't funny, and yet he thought he was. That was probably why Peyton always managed to laugh at his jokes, because they were always so silly and Lucas always thought he was a genius for telling them to her._

_"Woo."_

_"Woo who?"_

_"Hey don't get too excited, it's just a joke." He said with a chuckle looking over to see if he had made her laugh._

_He got a smile, that was at least progress._

_"Good one Luke." She said not wanting to sound unappreciative, but god his jokes were horrible._

_ll If the sky above you  
>should turn dark and full of clouds<br>and that old north wind should begin to blow... ll  
><em>

_But then they reached the entrance to the cemetery and Peyton gripped his hand just a little tighter (they had never let go after crossing the street) and then it was quiet, because she always wanted to believe that if she listened good enough she would hear her mom, and he always got quiet because he figured that anything he could say wouldn't be what she wanted to hear._

_So there they sat under the oak tree next to her mother's grave; two kids who had to deal with death when they were honestly too young to understand it all._

_"I think Megan's right…" She trailed off as she looked at the headstone in front of her._

_That was all that was left of her mother. _

_Yes if you walked into her home it would still be as if her mom was still there. Her clothes still hung in the closet. The book she had last been reading sat on her nightstand, waiting to be read again. But to Peyton, she knew that those were just things and whether her Dad left it like that or not, her mom was not coming back. She was here, in this place, next to the oak tree she always sat under._

_"No she's not." He said almost angrily._

_"My mom is gone and my Dad is gone now too." She reasoned out loud._

_Ever since last year after her mother's passing, her father hadn't been the same. Rightfully so, because Peyton hadn't been the same either. The carefree, seemingly always giddy giggling girl was gone. And now she was quiet and only really spoke up when someone asked something of her. Now she would rather swing during recess and not play jump rope with Brooke. She was different, sadder. And so was her Dad. He said he had to keep working, so he would leave her with Mrs. Mitchell down the street and he wouldn't come home for weeks at a time. He didn't smile anymore and he didn't really talk either. He was sadder too._

_"But that's cause he works... he always comes back." Lucas said trying to do everything he could to help his best friend._

_"But he doesn't want to.." She whispered as tears began to fall again._

_And really there was nothing Lucas could say to that, because deep down he knew it was true. Mr. Sawyer was never really here when he would come home._

_ll Keep your head together and call my name out loud_  
><em>And soon I will be knocking upon your door. ll<em>

She had given him the space she knew he needed when they got there. He went one way and she went the other, figuring that he needed to talk to Keith alone, like she always did with her mom.

Eventually, after she was done with her own conversation she had looked over and saw Lucas sitting much like they had done as kids. Under the shade looking at the stone in front of him, so she did what he had done so many times for her. She walked over and sat beside him, grabbing his hand and waited for him to gather his thoughts.

"Does it ever get easier?" He asked after minutes of silence.

"The pain you feel it changes…When it first happened I just couldn't understand why it happened. And it hurt so much. And now, I guess it still hurts, but now I just wish she could be here, you know? I guess now it hurts because she's missing things I really need her here for." She finished thoughtfully as she looked over at him to see a slight nod.

"Yeah.." He said dismissively as he hung his head.

That was certainly not the answer he wanted to hear, even if he knew it was the honest one. He really hoped it would get easier, but he sort of figured it didn't.

"Hey" She said to get his attention again.

"It might always hurt, but…it sort of becomes like a constant. Something that's there, but you don't necessarily think about all the time. So in that way, it does get easier. It just takes time." She said as she squeezed his hand.

"Yeah…" He said again as he squeezed back., hoping that it would all be ok. But he knew, that she was right, and it would take time. He just wasn't sure how long and that made it even harder to understand.

_ll You just call out my name and you know where ever I am_  
><em>I'll come running to see you again. ll<em>

_A few weeks after that day in the cemetery (which they both got in trouble for), something happened that Lucas wasn't expecting. Something he couldn't really believe, a mistake if he ever saw one._

_Apparently after yet another phone call home about Peyton not really adjusting in school anymore, her father thought it would be best if a change in scenery was what his daughter needed. So he enrolled her in an elementary school close to her grandmother so she could see to her and look after her while her father was away._

_The only problem was that the school was in Wilmington._

_She told him her Dad wouldn't be selling there house, he just couldn't. But no one would live there anymore. Peyton would be with her grandma and Mr. Sawyer had taken a more permanent placement on a boat. She was leaving, and no one knew when she would be back._

_On her last day at school all the kids in the class wrote her a goodbye card and Mrs. Donnelly let them have chocolate cupcakes after lunch because they were Peyton's favorite. All the kids said their goodbyes- even Brooke, who even though she was nearly in tears told Peyton they would always be friends and could call each other all the time._

_But Lucas wasn't having any of it._

_He knew that her father would be taking her over to Wilmington that afternoon, and he knew it would be a long time (if ever) he would see his friend again. But he didn't care, because he was mad. Mad that she was going, mad that she didn't seem to care, and mad that there was nothing he could do to stop it from happening._

_So he figured if he didn't say goodbye then it would actually happen._

_At the end of the day as all the kids played on playground waiting for the final bell that meant it was time to go home, Lucas sat on the steps watching as Brooke kept yammering on that when Peyton came to visit they would do all sorts of thing together, and it would be so much fun. But when Peyton looked over and saw him sitting alone she left Brooke to her list of fun things and made her way to him._

_"I know you're mad, you didn't eat your cupcake." She said as she moved to sit beside him. Peyton knew that Chocolate Cupcakes were his favorite (he always liked chocolate chip cookies better), but he had never passed on a sweet treat. _

_"How come your not mad?" He asked, finally looking up and into her eyes. Ever since she had told him, she had been different. Unnervingly calm and almost Ok with the decision. Like she didn't really care either way._

_"Because I like my grandma's house and Dad promised that it'll just be for a little while." She explained._

_Only she didn't believe any of that, but she knew showing how she really felt would make it harder on everyone else. So that was why when her Dad first told her she just nodded and asked how long she had to pack. That was why she let Brooke believe they would get to do all those things Brooke was talking about. That was why she wasn't crying right now as she sat next to her best friend, for most likely the last time._

_"You know you're my best friend Luke?" She asked him changing the subject._

_"And you always will be." She whispered it like it was a secret._

_"Promise?" He asked her as the bell rang and all the other kids began to run to grab their bags and go home for the day._

_"Until you get sick of me." She smiled as she said it, and when he smiled too she hoped it would be that easy._

_"Peyt…knock, knock." He said as they saw her father's car pull up._

_"Who's there?" She asked, as her eyes began to water._

_"I'll tell you the next time I see you…" He told her, her father calling for him to come. He knew there was nothing else he could say to make it better, he just hoped she would keep her promise._

_She only smiled and ran to get her backpack, and then she was gone._

_ll Hey, ain't it good to know that you've got a friend?_  
><em>People can be so cold.<em>  
><em>They'll hurt you and desert you.<em>  
><em>Well they'll take your soul if you let them... ll <em>

She still had a ton of things to do that day. She knew she wouldn't make it back in time for work and was lucky enough to get someone to cover for her. But when they left the cemetery and ended up at his mother's café she knew there was no way she could leave, especially when she saw how happy Karen got when she saw Peyton walk in behind Lucas. So she stayed.

She caught up with his mother as he talked to Haley and Nathan and she laughed when he showed her the text Brooke had sent him; she could only laugh at Brooke's crazy sense of humor. And as it got later, she played with Lily and read her a story as Karen and Lucas worked on making them dinner (Peyton wasn't allowed to help in the kitchen after she nearly burned it down two summers ago.)

And then after dinner, when it became too late for either Lucas or Karen's liking to let her drive, she ended up back at the Scott home watching the Lion King with Lily on her lap and Lucas and Karen at her sides. She might have had a ton of things to do, but nothing mattered more than this.

As it got later and the movie finished, with Lily nearly asleep, Karen had taken her to bed and then she had called it a night as well, leaving Lucas and Peyton to turn off the lights and then off in the direction of his bedroom. And like always he pulled out an extra pair of pajamas for her and as she went off to change in the bathroom as he did the same. He made down his bed and got on his side, waiting for her before he shut off the light. It was their routine after all, had been since they were younger and she would stay over. It wasn't awkward as they got older, or strain. It just was them.

When she walked in just a moment later, she laid down pulling the blankets around her and fluffing her pillow so it was just right and then turned to her side to tell him good night like they hadn't been away from each other for the last four months. Like today hadn't been today.

He could only laugh at that.

"What?" She asked curious as to what he thought was so funny.

"Do you know you're the only girl who has ever shared this bed with me?" He said off handily.

"That's because you got no game.." She joked as she stuck her tongue out at him.

"Seriously…" He told her with a genuine tone.

"Not true, I'm sure Haley has before.." She said as she tried to think about all the times they, collectively had spent in this house. Surely Haley had slept in here too…but the more she thought of it, she couldn't place a time.

"Nope…we always ended up at your house. And the couple times she did sleep over because it got too late, she slept on the couch." He mentioned sort of amused by that fact.

"Well, why?" She asked curious, knowing Haley her reasoning was probably specific.

"She said she couldn't take my snoring…" He said ashamed.

"You do snore Dude. Loudly." She chuckled.

"First, don't call me Dude. And second I don't snore." He confidently stated. But when he looked over at her, she wasn't convinced.

"Ok…I don't snore _that loud_." He clarified.

"Sure you don't.." She told him with a smile on her face. When she yawned and turned so she was facing the opposite direction, he figured he wouldn't be winning that disagreement. Besides, he knew he didn't snore that loud.

"Night Luke.." she whispered out as he reached out and turned off his lamp beside his bed.

"Night" He told as he looked at her for a moment, her eyes already closed.

"Hey Peyt..." He called to her hoping she wasn't already asleep. It always drove him crazy that she could literally fall asleep within seconds of laying down for bed while he spent sometimes hours wrestling with sleep to come to him.

"Hmm…"

"Thanks…for Today." He clarified.

"We're best friends right?" She asked him back as if that explained everything. Because to her it did. No matter what, at the very least they were each other's friends and whether she wanted more, at least they had that. That had to be enough, right?

"Till You get sick of me…" He answered her like she had told him so many years ago.

But just like always when they mentioned their friendship, he really wished he could tell her he was more than just her friend. That he loved her and would do everything in his power to put a smile on her face because he loved her (was in love with her). That no matter what came their way they would get through it together. But he never could.

It just wasn't worth the risk.

They were best friends and things like love and feelings could potentially destroy that. She might not feel the same way or she might but if they didn't last, then what?

He had lost her once; he didn't want to lose her again.

_ll You just call out my name and you know wherever I am_  
><em>I'll come running to see you again.<em>  
><em>Oh babe, don't you know that? ll<em>

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

So this sort of bummed me out, but the next chapter is a two parter and it certainly is more cheerful than this..Hopefully I will be able to get at least part 1 done before the end of this coming weekend. If anyone cares to read it... =)

Song: "You've Got a Friend"- James Taylor & Carol King


	5. 18, Part I

A/N: So this update is days late and I broke up the chapter into two...Yeah, I know. But something is better than nothing right? And really after I'm done with school (three weeks and counting), I will have all the time in the world to get this done and maybe start working on other things. So this chapter is more of a setup to the next part and it also mentions things that have yet to happen so it might be cofusing, sorry.

**I'm not sure how this is getting received mostly because not many people reviewed, so for those of you who do, Thanks Again, your thoughts definitely help! =)

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

_ll I've got this friend _  
><em>I don't think you know him.. ll<em>

"Guess what rumor I heard?" Brooke whispered to Haley as she stood at her locker trying to gather the last of her books before class started.

"I don't know Brooke, what could you have possibly heard before school even started?" Haley said somewhat dismissively. She was sure that whatever Brooke had heard would only mean one thing. _Trouble._

"Well, Bevin texted me this morning and told me that Teresa was at the coffee shop on the river front last night and she saw our favorite blonde friend arguing with that skank he calls a girlfriend.." Brooke nearly shrieked with excitement.

"Hmm.." Haley said with no really emotion.

"Hmm…that's all you've got to say?" Brooke said annoyed and frankly too loud as people around the hall took notice of the pair.

"Haley, you know we hate Rachel, and we don't want Luke taking her to prom and so he can finally get it together and admit he's hopelessly in love with Peyton…" Brooke all but whined.

"Brooke!" Haley shushed her, because even though she admitted to her what Lucas had told her last year, it was told in confidence that Brooke wouldn't say a word and would only use the information to help get Luke and Peyton together, not start drama.

"What? He loves hers, and I know she loves him back but won't admit it…That's where me and you come in." Brooke argued like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Well…for once Teresa might be telling the truth and Bevin might have actually relayed a message right because…" Haley trialed off as she shut her locker and pulled Brooke along with her towards class. If they were gonna meddle they had to be discrete about it and not scheming in the halls where anyone could hear them.

"Because why?" Brooke whispered as they walked.

_ll He's not much for words,_  
><em>He's hid in his harden way... ll <em>

Brooke had never, ever liked Rachel Gatina. For starters the girl had shown up at the start of their senior year and just thought she could come in and run the school. Big Mistake. Then she tried to take over the cheer squad, the one which Brooke was caption of. But what was worse was that the skank had wormed her way into her blond friend's (the boy one) heart and the two had been dating for months now. To the disgust of everyone else.

At the time they had let him be, because well he had been going through so much and they all assumed that he just needed something (even a shank like Rachel) to forget it all for a while. But now they were just a week from their senior prom and Lucas had yet to see the light. And while Brooke was more than pissed about that.

Because Lucas wasn't supposed to be with Rachel, especially on prom. Nope, he was supposed to realize- with the help of Brooke - that the girl of his dreams was his best friend (the blonde one) and then they were supposed to share the perfect night and get together, forever in debt to Brooke Davis for orchestrating the whole thing. (she expected their first child to be named after her for thanks)

So that was why she was no excited when Bevin had texted her this morning because as horrible as it sounded a fight was exactly what Brooke needed to spread the seeds of doubt, and just hopefully by next weekend she could have exactly what she wanted.

Rachel put in her place (at the bottom) and Lucas with Peyton just like it was always meant to be.

"I tried calling Luke last night and he said he had a headache and would talk to me today. Which in Lucas language means something happened and he wanted to think on his own and then would come to me when he was ready." Haley says amused by this turn of events.

Because really Lucas is her best friend, and she knew he wasn't happy with Rachel, he was just a little lost right now.

And really... if you asked Haley there had only been one girl that was in Lucas' heart and she had been for a long time.

Since even before they were friends.

_ll Oh I've got this friend _  
><em>A loveless romantic...<em>  
><em>All that he really wants, <em>  
><em>Is someone to want him back. ll<em>

_It wasn't until the fifth grade that she really noticed him._

_She knew his name before then (Lucas) but he had never been in her classes and at recess he would always only play with one girl, and most days Haley would void recess and read books in the library anyways. And then one day she noticed that that girl (Peyton, Haley knew her name too) went away and he didn't play with anyone anymore. And then the school year ended and she didn't see him again till the next year, when he was in her class and she learned that his last name was Scott._

_But Haley had problems of her, mainly Mikey McDonald who kept pulling at her ponytail in class and wouldn't stop, even when Haley told the teacher. She tried to ignore it, she really did. But if there was one thing that Haley hated it was having her hair fall lose out of her ponytail, because she could never fix it like her mom had._

_And then one of the first days of the fifth grade, Lucas noticed what Mikey did, and he didn't like to see a boy be mean to girl._

_It was Lucas who had finally got him to stop, by telling Mikey if he did it one more time Lucas would punch him so hard he'd cry in front the entire fifth grade. Now Haley would never condone violence, but she appreciated nonetheless. And that was pretty much it, after that Haley considered him her friend._

_The only problem was he wasn't one for words. During recess he all he would do was sit on the swings, quiet and alone well all the other kids played around him, like he didn't even get noticed._

_"Hi Luke." She chirped as she took the swing that was next him._

_"Hi…" He said stoically not raising his head to look at his new companion._

_"Do you want to play something?" She asked him trying to think of something she was actually good at. She looked at the other boys across the yard playing basketball, while a whole group of kids played kickball. Haley knew she could neither bounce or kick a ball. But it was the thought that counted right?_

_"No thanks…"_

_"I'll play anything that I can play.." She tried to convince him with a smile._

_"Nah it's ok." He told her as he continued to look down, dragging his foot in the sand below them._

_He knew she was just trying to be nice to him, and his mother had always taught him to be polite. But he just didn't care that much, cause well-he didn't want any friends. Because they tended to leave on him. Well that wasn't entirely true he still played with Antwon and Marvin on the weekends (they went to a different school then him). And every once in a while Brooke would come still with him too, when she missed Peyton like he did._

_Really because that was why he didn't want to play, he had a friend, a best friend, and they did all sorts of things together. But then she went away and hadn't come back. So why a make a new one if there was a chance they would go away too?_

_"You miss her huh?" She asked sensing that if she didn't speak to him, he wouldn't be speaking to her._

_"What?" He asked snapping from his daze._

_"My oldest brother Tommy, he went away last year to college and I miss him a lot. He use to make me peanut-butter and jelly sandwiches all the time." She tells him instead of answer him._

_"I wish she'd come back.." He tells her, astonished that this girl, this girl he barley knows, can understand why he sits here all time, wishing he wasn't alone._

_He misses her, like a lot. _

_When she first left his mother told him it was Okay to be sad. But its been months and months and he's still sad. Her grandma lets her call sometimes. And she even came to visit one weekend this summer with her Dad. But its not the same, he doesn't think it ever will until she's back where she belongs. With him._

_"She'll be back someday, I just know it. My brother comes to visit and in three years when he's finished with school he's gonna come home. I bet she will too."_

_"Maybe.." He tells her, hopeful that maybe she's right._

_"I can be your friend until she comes back even you want.." She announces. This boy was kind to her, when he didn't have to be. And so if he needs a friend, she'll do. Besides she would much rather sit with him than try to play all those silly games all the other kids are playing. And library can surely get boring sometimes._

_"I'm Haley James." She told him as she put out her hand._

_"Lucas Scott." He told her back with a smile._

_ll Ohh, if the right one came  
>If the right one came along.. ll<em>

"Do you really think they're over?" Haley asked just a little hopeful.

She's not gonna lie she has never been one to hate someone, but Rachel Gatina made it really easy to hate her. When she first popped up, Haley had been as friendly as she could be to the new girl, because well wouldn't it suck to be new to a school, let alone during your senior year?

But then she saw the real Rachel. The one who tried to take away the cheer squad from Brooke (other than boys, cheering was Brooke's life). And then she did something, unthinkable. She hit on Nathan, repeatedly. Even after he told her he wasn't interested. Even after Haley told her to stop. And when she finally realized Nathan wasn't gonna cheat, she moved on to the other Scott brother, who just happened to be at a very vulnerable place that he let Rachel in.

And not to mention Lucas was Haley's best friend, did Rachel think Haley would just let that happen? Only of course she couldn't say anything because Lucas didn't need to hear how much of a skank Rachel was. He had just lost his Uncle and needed a little happiness. Even if Haley thought nothing good could come of it. She didn't say anything, but if the couple had broken up, then it was fair game right? She could say what a horrible person she thought Rachel was, and how much she wished Lucas would stop being scared and would try to talk to Peyton about how he felt.

Because Haley knew. She knew that her best friend loved his other best friend. Because not only was it obvious, but he had admitted it to her once.

(How and why that occurred was certainly a story to be told).

And that was another thing that drove Haley absolutely crazy, if he felt that way, why didn't he do something?

God, sometimes it sucked having a boy for a best friend.

"I don't care, I have a plan." Brooke said mischievously as the two reached the end of the hall and made it inside of study hall.

"Great." Haley muttered sarcastically.

Yup, gossip could only lead Brooke to trouble.

_ll If the right one came along... ll_

Later on that day at lunch as Haley and Brooke shared a private look as they walked on opposite sides of the courtyard, the pair went to their respective best friends to find out if they're plan was a go.

(Yes, Haley agreed to helping because 1. She hated Rachel and 2. She really did want Lucas and Peyton to become Lucas&Peyton).

"Hey Buddy.." Haley greeted him as she came to sit down next to him on at their lunch bench.

"Hey Hales, how's your day going?" He asked curious because he hadn't talked to her all day.

And he really needed to, because the past 24 hours had been intense to say the least. It had all started fine. Him and Rachel had gone to get some coffee down by the river last night after his shift was over at work. Now it had been a long day at work , he had sent his mother home to rest and so he closed on his own and he still had a ton of homework to do, but Rachel had called and asked him to go out and so he did. He drove out of his way and got her. And he waited the next minutes she asked him to because she wasn't ready. And then he drove around for another twenty minutes as she decided where they would go. But somewhere in between picking up coffee and Rachel explaining what she wanted him to get her as a "prom present" he sort of snapped. He said he didn't feel like going to Prom and he would much rather skip it. Because really, prom was sort of the least important thing he had going on. He had things like his mom (who was due any minute) and work and school to worry about. And a dance, some non-essential dance at a school he would soon be leaving, just didn't seem worth his time.

That had not gone over well with Rachel. And after a whole lot of words, he finally told her if she wanted to go so badly, she could go without him.

But what was the real kicker was that when he got to school today he heard she had already found that someone else to go with.

"OK, but what about you?" Haley quizzed.

"Where do I start…" He told her as he began his explanation.

And so as Lucas told Haley about his night, she could only muster a few kind words and send a small smile in Brooke's direction as she looked over at her and Peyton.

Maybe this plan could work after all.

_ll I've got this friend _  
><em>I don't think you know her..<br>She sings a simple song,  
>It sounds a lot like his. ll<em>

She would be the first one willing to admit that Brooke Davis cares about few things (boys, clothes, cheerleading) and on the top of that list it's Brooke Davis herself. But really she has always put some people even before that list (and herself). She has always tried to be a good friend, because those are the only people who have been there for her.

Like when her parents got divorced last year and were ready to ship her off to some private school in Maryland so they wouldn't have "a burden to look after". It was Peyton who somehow convinced her Dad to talk to them so she could stay and finish high school. And when they were less than impressed with the fact that Peyton lived pretty much on her own, Lucas and Haley had talked to their parents to join the bandwagon and convince Brooke's parents it was ok. And then when they did finally agree, it was Nathan, Lucas, and all the river court boys who moved her things (it was a lot) to her new home.

And that's just one example, Brooke has tons of times when her friends supported her and looked out for her. So she's always felt like it was only right to return the favor, and be there for them too. And in the last few months with everything that had happened she had tried her hardest.

For Lucas and Karen it went without saying. And then when that whole Nathan and Haley thing came up too.

While Peyton, she's Brooke's best friend, and so Brooke has always tried extra hard for her.

So that's why Brooke feels like she has the right (the duty) to meddle and help Peyton see what's right in front of her.

Because she deserves as much, to finally get a little happiness, and so does Lucas.

_ll Oh I've got this friend __ ll_

"Hey best friend.." Brooke called out to her as she came up to Peyton who had been sitting under a tree, no doubt with a sketchpad in her lap.

"Hey Brooke." Peyton greeted not looking up from the page.

"Please pay attention Peyton!" Brooke pouted as she looked at her friend.

"I have to get this finished before sixth period Brooke." Peyton tried to reason.

"Peytonnn…" Brooke full on whined. What was it with her and art? Ever since she'd known her, if Peyton was working on something art-related, everything came second.

It drove Brooke crazy. Sometimes it sucked having such a talented best friend, especially when Brooke was in scheming mode.

_ll Holding onto her heart... ll_  
><em><br>_

_"Hi!" The little girl chirped as she came to table._

_It was the first day of kindergarten and while all the kids played and their parents watched from a distance nervous about leaving their child, Brooke's parents had already left and now she was just trying to find someone to play dolls with her. When she saw another girl, with curly blonde hair and a blue dress like Brooke's, she figured maybe the girl would play with her._

_"Hi." the girl said as she continued to color and not look up from her picture. Peyton was trying really hard to stay in the lines like her mommy had shown her._

_"I'm Brooke, do you want to play dolls?" Brooke asked her as she held up her doll to show the girl._

_"I'm Peyton…" She told her, still not looking up._

_"So do you want to play?" Brooke asked getting annoyed. She was seriously ready to go find someone to play with because she hated to wait._

_"Ok, but then we have to play with my friend Lucas because I told him I would.." She told her as she pointed to the boy who sat quietly reading at the table next to them. He looked up at the mention of his name and smiled at the two._

_"But he's a boy. They have cooties." Brooke giggled and shook her head. _

_"Lucas doesn't.." Peyton assured her as she smiled back at Lucas before the two girls ran off and went to play._

_ll _Holding onto her heart, _  
><em>Like it's a little secret. <em>  
><em>Like it's all she's got to give... ll<em>_

"Jeez fine Brooke. What?" Peyton huffed as she put away her sketchpad and gave her friend her undivided attention, she knew if she didn't Brooke would not let her finish anyway.

"Good…now it's about prom." Brooke said as she helped her friend up from the grass (Brooke didn't sit on the grass, not when she could get grass stains).

"Brooke I already told you I'm not going. I don't want to be the only one without a date." Peyton told her honestly.

She knew that all their friends were going as like a group, but it would eventually come down to the fact that everyone was going with their date.

Nathan and Haley.

Lucas and Rachel. (Even though everyone, including Peyton was sure she was the devil)

Brooke and Whoever she decided was good enough to go with.

Peyton did not want to be a seventh wheel.

"Please Peyton, you know you don't need a date. Hell you could have whatever boy you wanted." Brooke told her convincingly. Only she really hoped she knew her best friend well enough that whatever argument Brooke had would be totally ignored and Peyton would decide to forgo the dance all together.

And then at the very last minute Lucas would show up, declare his undying love, ask her to the dance and poof…Happily Ever After.

Yup, It was a part of the plan.

"It's just a dance Brooke…I would much rather spend my night home, with my music and sketchpad." Peyton explained.

So OK, that was her plan and yes Senior Prom was just a dance, but it kind of sucked that she didn't have someone to go with. She wouldn't call herself some girly girl who dreamed of one day being Prom Queen, but she always looked at her parent's Prom picture (they had gone together) and thought it was such a sweet thing that they had been each other's date. And she always wished that when it was her prom she could wear her mom's dress because it was beautiful and it had meant something to her mom. But she wasn't getting that chance so she would just have to deal with it. Some people got to live out their hopes and dreams- as minor as they were, like going to prom- and others didn't.

Besides the one boy she might have actually wanted to go with, he had someone already. And as he had clearly pointed (last year) he only thought of her as his friend.

Nothing less, but most definitely nothing more either.

So No, there would be No Prom for Peyton Sawyer.

_ll It'd be such a shame,_  
><em>(if they never meet) <em>  
><em>She sounds lovely,<em>  
><em>(he sounds right out of a dream) ll<em>

"What if I could get you a date?" Brooke asked her with a gleam in her eyes.

"No Brooke I don't think I could handle a boy you picked for me." Peyton answered with a laugh.

"Please Peyton…" Brooke begged.

"Please Brooke…Enough." She told her in the same tone.

"How about this, you get a dress and everything and if on the day you don't approve you don't have to go.." She told her. She had to make sure Peyton was ready so when Brooke brought some sleazy guy she would say NO, but at the same time be ready so when Lucas (hopefully) showed up she could say Yes.

"I don't know Brooke…." Peyton said unsure, as the bell rang and everyone began their way back to class.

"Just think about it P." Brooke told her as she gave her friend a hug and looked over and saw Haley, Nathan, and Lucas walk over to them.

"Hey friend, we have government let's go." Brooke said as she looped her arm with Haley's and rushed off.

"Geez Brooke wait up, I have class with you guys. And she's my girlfriend." Nathan yelled as he tried to catch up with the two. Something was up, he could tell. Those two had been together all day and whispering like they had a secret.

"What is with those two?" Lucas asked as he took Peyton's bag for her as they watched the girls, followed by Nathan walking off.

"I don't know…I'm not sure I want to." Peyton told him as they started to walk in the opposite direction.

"So Proms next weekend…who you going with?" He tired to mention nonchalantly, only not because he was protective of her and didn't want her to end up with some jerk as a date.

"No one…I'm not going." She told him as they walked into class.

"What? Why?" He asked. Who wouldn't want to go out with Peyton Sawyer?

"Just don't want to." She lied. Because, while she couldn't tell him because she couldn't go with him.

"Well maybe we could not go together?" He asked with a small grin.

_ll If only, _  
><em>(if only) <em>  
><em>If only... ll<em>

_TBC..._

Song: "'I've Got this Friend"- The Civil Wars

_-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-_

A/N: Like I said its just setting things up and it was short. But those of you who have reviewed have expressed some frustrations. (LOL) Rightfully so, if they love each other _why haven't_ they gotten it together? Well I guess my answer is things are never that easy, and very cryptically I will also say, "timing is everything.." -)


	6. 18, Part II

A/N: Wow has it been a long time. Like a really long time. _Sorry_. But someone (Thanks LukePeyTLA!) reminded me this week that this fic existed and wasn't finished. So here is a new update. Now I don't make promises I can't keep, so instead I'm just gonna say I will try my hardest to not wait so long again for the next chapter.

*Big Thanks to anyone who still cares enough to read & review this, it's very much appreciated! =)

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

_ll I cannot hold this anymore_  
><em>my hands are tired of only waiting to let go<em>  
><em>and I am waiting still... ll<em>

"What is with those two?" Lucas asked as he took Peyton's bag for her as they watched the girls, followed by Nathan walking off.

"I don't know…I'm not sure I want to." Peyton told him honestly as they started to walk in the opposite direction.

"So Proms next weekend…who you going with?" He tired to mention nonchalantly, because he was protective of her and didn't want her to end up with some jerk as a date.

And also because even if he would never admitted it- more so given their current circumstances- he might be just a little bit jealous that he would not or could not be a potential date of hers.

"No one…I'm not going." She told him as they walked into class.

"What? Why?" He asked. Who wouldn't want to go out with Peyton Sawyer?

"Just don't want to." She lied.

She couldn't tell him she wasn't going because she couldn't go with him. She had promised herself after Keith had died to be the bigger and better person and pretend like it didn't bother her. As if what she had heard just months before had never happened because what was more important was her being a friend to him.

"Well maybe we could not go together?" He asked with a small grin.

Yes he was feeling horrible today. His girlfriend (he wasn't sure if she still was) had ignored him. Haley hadn't helped the situation because she hardly seemed interested when he tried to explain things. But then in the span of five minutes Peyton had managed to help his mood. By just being _her._ So what if Rachel went to prom with someone else? So what if he didn't go to Prom? What if instead he got to catch up with his best friend and actually enjoy himself for once?

Was that so horrible?

She really considered what he had just said. Because even if it was still hard for her to be around him (given how she felt and more so how he felt) she would love to spend some one-on-one time with him. He was still her best friend and in the past couple months they had been drifting apart. And yes she was just as much as to blame as him. So wouldn't it be ok to try to reconnect. They were best friends, that had always been enough, right?

But then Rachel walked in class and her seething stare brought Peyton back to reality. Back to how things were now. With Lucas with Rachel and him still in a weird place after losing Keith. With Peyton still trying to be a good friend when she didn't want to be _only_ friends but had no real choice.

"I don't think so. Because if I remember correctly last week during cheer practice I heard your girlfriend go on and on about how amazing it's going to be when you two are named King And Queen." She told him as she gave another glance at Rachel.

"Well that was before our fight and her choice to go without me." He shoots back as he follows her gaze to the redhead who sat in the back of the class instead of next to him like she usually did.

"Doesn't matter. I give it till the end of the week before you two make-up and then she starts in again about what you should wear so you guys match. " She explained.

"But-" He started to get out not at all buying it. He didn't want to go, not if he could instead spend the time with her. But she didn't seem to agree with that sentiment.

"Sorry dude, your going." She cut him off and turned in her chair as Mr. Matthews began discussing the importance of knowing the laws of physics.

She tried her best to ignore him for the rest of class, and even more so as the week went on. She had to, it was the only way she could stay being the bigger person, the only way she could stop herself from telling him it would be great to spend Prom night with him, and even better if they just went together.

But that ship had sailed. Really it had sunk before even leaving port.

_ll I used to know which way to turn,_  
><em>you were a light inside a tunnel in my head.<em>  
><em>I try to follow still... ll<em>

"Please tell me why I have to go?" She asked as she got out of the passenger seat and looked to Brooke and Haley as they started toward the boutique.

"Because like I already told you I'm getting you a date for Prom." Brooke reminded annoyed that Peyton was giving her such a hard time.

"Yeah and how can you go to Prom if you don't have a dress?" Haley reasoned only feeling slightly bad that she was a part of Brookes plan. She kept reminding herself that it would be worth it in the end, to see her friends happy together. So what if Peyton was extra broody right now? So what if she had to deal with an equally broody Lucas until Saturday?

"Fine….But like I already told you, if I don't like this mystery guy I'm not going. You can't make me." She pouted then only chuckled at herself. She sounded like a child.

"That's just fine, because that's not gonna happen because I have the perfect guy for you." Brooke chirped out as she walked around the aisle and began looking through dresses totally dismissing the questioning glance Haley gave her as she did so.

"And exactly who is this guy?" Peyton tried to find out. She knew everyone in their grade and the last time she checked the only boys free for Prom night were Junk and Fergie.

"Not telling." Brooke explained.

Of course Peyton wasn't buying it but she knew better than to keep going on about it with Brooke, so instead she followed closed behind and began looking through a rack.

"Here, try this one and this one, and this…" Brooke told her as she pull out three different dresses. The first was a form fitting red gown that she knew would look amazing on her best friend. The next was a halter dress that was a shimmering blue (she noticed it would perfectly match Lucas' eyes). And the last one was a flowing white dress that had beaded straps.

"Brooke I don't know.." Peyton questioned as she took the three and started to think of a way out of all this mess.

"No. Go. Now." Brooke forced her toward a fitting room and then walked back over to sit down with Haley to wait for Peyton to come out.

"So who's the guy you gonna use for this master plan of your's?" Haley asked quietly as she looked over at the dressing room making sure Peyton couldn't her them.

"Huh?" Brooke said distractingly as she kept looking around the store seeing if she saw anything else.

"You keep telling Peyton that you have a guy for her, So who are you planning to ask to show up the day of Prom?" Haley asked in a whisper.

"Oh that guy….there is no guy" Brooke said with a evil smile.

"See we're all gonna get ready and then "the guy" will be a no show. Lucas will show up when the guys are supposed to come and then you can do the best friend thing and make him ask Peyton to go and then bam! Their together!" Brooke whispered excitedly.

"But Brooke.." Haley began but was cut off by the dressing room door opening.

"What do you think?" Peyton asked as she twirled around in the red one. It didn't pop like Brooke thought it would.

"Uh, not for you. Next one." Brooke told her as Peyton look down at herself and then huffed back into the dressing room.

"Brooke. I know I said I would help you, but I don't think I can really talk Lucas into finally admitting how he feels." Haley tried to explain thinking back on how she found out in the first place.

"Sure you can." Brooke said dismissively with a wave of her hand.

"No, see when I talked to him last time he basically said it didn't matter how he felt and that he would just bury all that for the sake of their friendship." Haley stressed.

"That's such a boy thing to do." Brooke argued annoyed because she could totally picture Lucas saying something like that.

"I know, but-" Haley began, getting cut off again as Peyton walked out in the blue option.

"I like this one." She beamed as she look in the mirror. It really was a simple dress and most importantly it was comfortable. She was still very resistant about this whole deal and Peyton just knew that somehow she would end up at Prom regardless of how she felt about whoever Brooke thought was an acceptable date. If she was forced into going to this dumb dance the least she could be was comfortable.

"Well I don't…Next" Brooke told her not at all liking how it fit her friend. That was why she wanted to be a designer, because if someone like Peyton didn't look right in something it had more to do with the clothing itself because that girl (just like Brooke) could pull off almost anything.

"I hate you so much right now." Peyton told her as stuck out her tongue at her friends.

"We love you too" Brooke shouted as Peyton closed the door again and Haley shook her head and snickered at the pair.

"So you were saying.." Brooke whispered as she nudged at her friend.

"Right, I don't think you get how hard it will be to convince Lucas to tell Peyton how he feels." She argued.

"Plus are him and Rachel actually broken up?" She questioned not entirely sure.

"First off, who cares if their not broken up." Brooke stated not at all caring for the redhead's feelings.

"And secondly, if Lucas won't man up, we just have to convince P. Sawyer too." She said as she glanced toward the dressing room door just as it began to open.

"Wow.." Haley marveled as Peyton walked out and did a twirl again.

"That's the one.." Brooke said with a certainty.

_ll Its hard to see you we are older now_  
><em>and when I find you you just turn around.<em>  
><em>This is a black and white of you I found<em>  
><em>I hang you up and then I pull you down... ll<em>

It was almost zero hour.

Operation _"Get Lucas and Peyton to stop being dumb and get together already"_ was in full force since prom was tomorrow and now Brooke had to pull off the hardest thing part in this whole conspiracy. Get Peyton Sawyer to open up and talk about her feelings for Lucas Scott. Brooke knew it wouldn't be easy, but she was ready for it. At least she thought so.

And so as she walked up the stairs in the Sawyer residence that Friday afternoon after school to find Peyton sitting in her usual spot (at her desk) drawing like it was any other day, Brooke was confident that she could get her best friend to see reason.

"Hey Best friend.." She said nonchalantly as she made her way fully into the red bedroom.

"Hey…did we have plans today?" Peyton asked not looking up from what she was doing.

So ok, ignoring Lucas and acting like nothing was bothering her had turned into pretty much ignoring everything this week and not really paying attention to anything. But Peyton was sure that Brooke had mentioned something about going out with Chase (the guy that Brooke was taking to Prom that no one really knew anything about because 1. He was new, and 2. Brooke had been occupying him so much).

"Well not really but I thought we could…. maybe order in, watch some movies tonight, or I don't know we could go out…" Brooke began to ramble trying to think of a way to just come out and say what she wanted to say.

"Yeah sure if you want." Peyton answered finally putting her pencil down and only now looking at Brooke. Just upon first glance she could tell something was up. Brooke was standing (not sitting like she planned to stay) and she kept fiddling with her hands like she was nervous. But the dead give away was the fact that she was looking around Peyton's room like everything on the walls was so fascinating and not looking Peyton in the eye.

"Brooke.." Peyton called out now watching her friend as she continued to fidget.

"Yeah.." Brooke said as she finally look at Peyton. So she was nervous. How was she gonna just begin interrogating her friend and convince her to finally admit what everyone else saw.

"What's up with you?" Peyton asked her trying her best not to crack a smile at her crazy friend. She knew it was nothing serious (With Brooke most things weren't), but it was still bothering her enough to act so weird.

"We're best friends, right?" Brooke asked first starting with something simple.

"Sure…." Peyton said with a nod, having no idea where Brooke was going with all this.

"And we've always told each other like everything, right?"

"Last time I checked. Brooke what's going on?" Peyton asked with a smile on her face. She had never known Brooke not to get to the point.

"YouNeedToTellLucasYouLoveHim!" Brooke finally all but shouted. There, like pulling off a band aid. It had to be done quickly and without hesitation.

"What?" Peyton did shout completely understanding what Brooke told her and surprised that she said it.

"P. Sawyer, you have loved that boy since always, ok. I know. And we're gonna be graduating soon. Like in a month. And I just don't want you to regret the fact that you never told him how you feel about him." Brooke said confidently.

Because really that's why she had started this whole plan to begin with. She knew that time wasn't on their side anymore. Everyone would soon be going their separate ways, and then what? She didn't want Peyton to one day realized what was right in front of her face when it was too late.

"Brooke. I do not love Lucas…" Peyton said as she emphasized the not part.

"Peyton come on…everyone could see that you do. Very much." Brooke reasoned with her agitated friend.

"I mean of course I love him, he's my best friend. And I've known him forever, but-" She backtracked as she tried to explain to Brooke as convincingly as possible that Brooke was completely wrong (even if she was completely right.)

"Sure you love him as your friend. But you also _love him, _love him. Like Haley loves Nathan." Brooke reasoned.

"And how Karen loved Keith." Brooke explained in a whisper, full well knowing how everyone had seen what those two had meant to each other.

And that comparison just about made Peyton lose it.

"No, no, no…your wrong." She choked out as she shook her head and began pacing back and forth.

"No, Lucas and I…we're just friends. We'll only ever be just friends." Peyton said remembering how certain of that Lucas had been when he had said those same words not but six months before.

_ll I get lost sometimes, another year flies by_  
><em>but I know if I try memories of the light in your eyes<em>  
><em>can take me back in time... ll<em>

_This was certainty going to be the wedding of the year in their town._

_Everyone had been waiting decades for these two to get it together. And now that they had there was an excitement, an urgency for it to happen as quickly as possible._

_Now Peyton had never been the girly type who got crazy over things like weddings, that was more Brooke's style. But this wedding was different._

_She had know Keith and Karen for so long and if there was two people who deserved happiness more anything it was them. And as Brooke had said when they had announced their engagement to everyone, they were the epitome of what true loved looked like._

_And beyond the couple themselves, there was also Luke. Ever since his mom and Keith had announced their plans to marry the guy had been ecstatic. But more than that, ever since he had been different. Lighter and more at peace than Peyton had ever saw him, and well that made her feel that way too._

_Seeing the people around her, who she loved and cared about finally get what they want, what they deserve sort of put things in perspective for Peyton. Especially her unsaid feelings for her best friend._

_She knew she had been in love with that boy since…always. But for so long she had so many doubts about expressing how she felt about him. What if he didn't feel the same way? What if he only saw her as a friend? Couldn't admitting how she felt, potentially destroy their friendship? What if she lost him?_

_The way she saw it, she had several valid reasons (excuses) why admitting her true feelings- especially out loud and to him- could literally blow up in face._

_But as time past, and especially now with the wedding and everyone around her so happy and talking about things like love, and fate, and forever, Peyton started to feel like if she didn't just burst out and say how she felt the next time she was alone with him she might just lose it. And as Drastic and exasperated as that sounded it was totally true._

_And then last week Karen came and as her to be her maid of honor. She said that if Anna had still been alive she would have asked her, so it was only fitting that Peyton stand in. Karen said it would also mean something to her to see Peyton walk with Lucas (he was the best man)._

_How could she tell her no after that?_

_So now here she was walking down the aisle during the rehearsal, her arm linked with her best friend and everyone smiling at the two- as if everyone knew a secret that the blonds didn't. Peyton smiled gripping his arm a little tighter and trying to remember that this was all pretend. That it was just a rehearsal and she was just the maid of honor and he was just the best man._

_But it definitely gave her the courage she needed. The courage she had been lacking for years to say the one thing she had known for so long._

_She was in love with her best friend (Always had been). And she hoped to god he felt the same._

_So she had to tell him. She couldn't keep it in anymore. It was time to do something about it._

_But then Brooke pulled her away from him at the end of the aisle chatting away about florists, caterers, linens, photographers, and music. Explaining that everything had been reserved and reservations had to once again be checked (by Peyton) and then double checked (by Haley)._

_And just like that everyone was ready to leave the church and head to the restaurant for the rehearsal dinner. And so when Peyton started walking out and Nathan asked her to get Lucas and Haley because Haley- like Brooke had done to Peyton- had pulled Lucas away to talk, Peyton began wandering back inside and down the hall when she thought she could hear the two friends._

_"Haley can you please stop.." She heard Lucas nearly shout behind one of the close dressing room doors._

_She couldn't hear what Haley was stay, because well Haley wasn't shouting. But Lucas certainty was._

_"No, Peyton's my friend. Okay? That's it. **Only my friend."** He emhasized. _

_"Well it doesn't matter… All she'll ever be is my friend."_

_That was all she needed to hear before she walked in the other direction and back outside._

_"Did you find them?" Nathan asked her as she tried her best not to cry. Tried her best not to show how completely broken she became by just a few words._

_"No I didn't…" She told him as she kept walking toward her car._

_And that was the end of that._

_So what if she loved Lucas? So what if she thought he might love her back? He didn't. He had said so. He only wanted to be her friend and she couldn't be angry or hurt because of that. She couldn't stop being his friend, his confidant._

_So the next day when it was the real wedding she walk down the aisle with him and smiled politely. When she had to dance with him she did. One dance and then she did what she did best. She ignored how she was feeling and she ignored him for the rest of the night, and had been keeping her distance ever since._

__ll Its hard to see you we are older now_  
><em>and when I find you you just turn around.<em>  
><em>This is a black and white of you I found<em>  
><em>I hang you up and then I pull you down... ll<em>_

"I don't buy that. Not for one second." Brooke said unwavering.

It was obvious that Peyton was lying. The years and years Brooke had watched those two and now as she watched Peyton try so hard to stay steadfast when she was nearly ready to breakdown and cry made her positive.

No Peyton and Lucas would never be just friends. They were always more then that. _Always._

"Brooke I am telling you that that's how it is. So on our friendship, you need to let it go." Peyton said as she straighten up willing herself to stay composed and unaffected by her friend's words.

"But Peyton-" Brooke started in again.

"No. I don't want to talk about it anymore. Do you want to get a pizza or something?" Peyton asked ending the discussion and changing the topic.

"Sure.." Brooke sighed as she thought about how much she had messed up this conversation.

She had forgotten the one rule when it came to Peyton Sawyer.

She won't do something if she doesn't want to. And no one (Not even Brooke) can change her mind.

_ll Its hard to see you we are older now_  
><em>and when I find you you just turn around.<em>  
><em>This is a black and white of you I found<em> _  
>I hang you up and then I pull you down... ll<em>

"So explain to me why the girls are at Peyton's, if Peyton isn't going?" Lucas asked the next day as he and his brother drove in the direction of the Sawyer house.

He had tried to think of every reason why he shouldn't be going to prom. But deep down he knew he had none. And then when he had casually let it slip to his mother that he didn't want to, she had all but demanded that he go. Now it had always been hard to tell her no, but given that she was almost eight months pregnant she was a force to be reckon with. So now here he was in some stupid tux, with no date, going to a boring dance.

This was gonna be fun.

"Peyton's going." Nathan said distractedly as he tried to fix his tie again. He didn't get bow ties. What guy would willing wear a bow?

"She told me she wasn't" Lucas said confused as he turned on to her block.

The last time he had talked to her she had very definitively said she wasn't. Then again he hadn't talked to her much all week, somehow or another they kept missing each other in the shuffle.

"Yeah she is…Brooke set her up with some guy or something." Nathan said as he finally gotten the bow straight.

After a lot of complaining that Brooke was acting weird and Haley too, the girls had filled him in on their plan. Nathan had never been the type to infer with other people's business, but he would also readily admit that his brother and friend needed to get over themselves and get it together. So he had promised to keep his mouth shut and not mess it up.

"Oh.." Lucas said with a frown. A frown that Nathan noticed and secretly smiled at.

"Come on lets go, the sooner we get there, the sooner we leave." Nathan argued as they pulled up to the house and made their way inside.

"Do I really have to get ready? Can't I just wait till this guy shows up?" Peyton asked her friends as the other two hurriedly moved around her putting the finishing touches to their appearance.

"Yeah come on. Getting dressed up is half the fun." Haley told her as she nudged to the bathroom and handed her her dress.

Getting Peyton ready was the least of their worries given how Brooke said she had acted the day before. Now Haley knew Lucas and Peyton were a lot alike, but after Brooke explain their friend's reaction Haley knew that their plan (that was supposedly foolproof) had some major flaws.

Mainly that both Lucas and Peyton were too afraid to do even recognize what everyone else saw.

"Brooke don't you think we should consider plan B?" Haley asked as the girls waited for Peyton to emerge.

"No Haley. No, I don't care if they end up only going as friends. I'm not gonna call Mouth and ask him to be her date." Brooke said annoyed that Haley kept trying to convince her that their plan was failing.

So Peyton hadn't reacted like she hoped. Brooke Davis would be damned if she didn't make sure that at the very least Peyton and Lucas had fun during their senior prom, together.

"Fine, but I think when the guy that never existed doesn't show and we conveniently suggest she go with Lucas she's gonna get super pissed because this is one big setup." Haley rambled out, realizing just how bad things could turn out.

Brooke didn't say anything and she looked at her worried friend because yes she too had thought the same thing, but…oh well.

"OK, I'm ready…" Peyton called out as she opened the door to show them her completed assemble.

"Great. You look great." Brooke smiled bubbly as she looked to Haley and gave a small wink.

"Yeah, great." Haley said with a small smile.

"Well great." Peyton said sarcastically.

"So, where is he?" She asked as she put a hand on her hip, not in at all in the mood for this dance, for whoever her date was, and especially the scheme her best friend thought she had pulled off.

Because Peyton might have been a bit withdrawn all week trying to avoid Lucas, but she wasn't blind either. Brooke was her best friend and Peyton knew she always had some crazy idea.

"Right…let me just go call him." Brooke quickly explained as she rushed out of the room.

Peyton looked at her other friend unconvinced, and ready to ask how Haley had gotten mixed up in whatever Brooke was doing.

"I'm gonna go see if Nathan is here yet…" Haley said anxiously with a quiet chuckle and then slowly started toward the door.

"Sure…" Peyton sighed as she thought about how things had gone from bad to worse.

This was gonna be fun.

Peyton was not at all surprised when she walked downstairs and found her four friends standing waiting for her.

"So bad news….Michael came down with the flu, he said he's sorry but he won't be able to make it." Brooke told her in her most fake sincere voice.

"_Michael_?" Peyton asked her.

"Yeah he's one of Chase's friends. Great guy, you two would have been perfect for each other." Brooke said trying to salvage this whole thing. It was obvious Peyton wasn't buying it, but Brooke also knew she couldn't really say anything now that Lucas was standing right there.

"His loss right?" Nathan said as he played along.

"Well your dressed already you might as well just come.." Haley reasoned.

When she looked at her friends she couldn't believe what they were saying. How the hell had Brooke convinced them to this?

"Yeah it wouldn't be the same without you. Come on, don't make me go alone.." Lucas plead, oblivious to this whole setup and genuinely wanting for her to go.

Because to him he had just lucked out. Whoever this Michael guy was he had just made it so Lucas might actually enjoy this thing. At least he have fun if Peyton was with him.

"Or if you don't want to go. I'll stay with you, whatever you want." He tried to convince her. Because really he didn't care. His mother had already taken a hundred pictures of him in his tux, he didn't care that he had paid for his ticket. Wherever Peyton was tonight would definitely be a lot more fun than wherever she wasn't.

And just like that Peyton was getting dragged to prom, being escorted by Lucas Scott. It was what she had wanted a long. Now though, it didn't feel right.

Because she knew at the end of the night he would only walk her to her door and kiss her (on the forehead) goodnight.

Nothing less but most definitely nothing more.

_ll I hang you up and then I pull you down_  
><em>I hang you up and then I pull you down<em>  
><em>I hang you up and then I pull you down... ll<em>

Ok she'd admit it she was having a good time. After several death glares to all her friends on the drive over, it took one genuine smile from Lucas to remind Peyton that she might as well just go with it and actually try to enjoy the night.

And so far it had been great.

The group of six (Chase had shown up and very anxiously brought Brooke her corsage right as they were getting ready to leave) had spent most of their night together laughing and joking, dancing to the horrible music and evening for taking in the very spiked punch- Brooke said it was all a part of the Prom Experience.

"So what do you think about Prom so far?" Lucas asked her as they volunteered to get the table another round of punch.

"So far... I can't complain." She said with a laugh as she look on at the others back at the table. Apparently all it took was a few drinks to get everyone loose because from this far away she could see them all cracking up about probably nothing.

When Lucas turned around to see what was so funny he could only snicker too. It was funny he had been so dead set against coming tonight, but what he realized was that it was it had never been about the dance itself. It had always been about the girl he had been expected to take. Because in the last few hours he hadn't thought once about his girlfriend and instead had been completely immersed in what was happening around him. His friends and the music and dancing and… Peyton.

In the span of Prom night Lucas completely remembered why he cared about (was in love with) his best friend. Her laugh, her smile, the way she could be so carefree. He knew it had been his fault that things were the way they were between them. But in the last few months so much had happened. Just when he thought he had been ready to finally just tell her how he felt life just took a complete 180 and he never could get it back on track.

He's still not even sure how he ended up with Rachel, and how they had lasted for so long. But Lucas couldn't do it anymore. He knew now after spending just this night with Peyton that Rachel had been a mistake. But no more. Keith had always told him he should follow his heart and he knew deep down it had always been leading him in one direction.

Now it was time to finally do something about it.

"Hey do you think we could talk?" He asked her with a determination he had forgotten he had.

"Yeah sure. Lets just take this back to the table." She told him as she motioned back to their friends.

She hadn't heard him use such a strong tone in such a long time. And when he smiled to her and nodded she was more then curious about his sudden change.

And then Rachel walked in.

Fashionably late but none the less she walked in acting like she owned the place. But what really shocked everyone that noticed her was that she came alone. But more than that she seemed to have no problem with it because once she saw Lucas, she came right up to him and Peyton and demanded that she talk to her boyfriend.

And all Peyton could do was shake her head at how Rachel always managed to swoop in at the wrong time.

"I'm waiting .." Rachel said as she tapped her foot in patiently.

"Give me ten minutes…" He whispered to Peyton hoping she would understand.

"Sure.." Peyton said begrudgingly as she tried her best to seem unfazed as she walked back to their friends.

What could she do. Rachel was his girlfriend. And Peyton? She was _just_ his friend. She had been and would always be, just Lucas' friend.

"Was that Rachel?" Haley asked as she noticed Lucas walking out of the gym with the red head.

"Yeah.." Peyton mumbled as she sat down and watched Brooke and Chase look ridiculous on the dance floor.

"Hey where's mine I thought you were bringing for everyone?" Nathan asked her as she drowned her glass of punch.

"Nathan not now." Haley said with a shake of head as she took in Peyton's sulking state. Nope she knew she shouldn't have listened to Brooke.

It was the end of the night and Peyton had not seen Lucas since. And to make matters worse she had drunken another three glasses of punch.

"Hey their gonna be announcing King and Queen soon." Brooke said excitedly as she pulled Chase back to the others.

"Freaking fantastic." Peyton muttered.

"Hey what's with you. where's Lucas?" Brooke asked not noticing when her arched enemy had walked in nearly an hour before.

"Can I have everyone's attention!" Principal Turner announced as the music faded out.

"Its now time to announce this year's Prom Queen and King." He said as the crowd cheered.

"Oh my god I am so exicted..how do I look?" Brooke said as she looked down at herself. She had been waiting for this moment since the second she was old enough to understand what prom was and how she could be a queen.

"This years Tree Hill High King is Lucas Scott. And his Queen is... Rachel Gatina." He said as everyone on the dance floor applauded not at all surprised.

But Lucas was. He had just walked in from the hallway after arguing for the past hour about why he wanted to break up with Rachel. Because apparently to her, no one had ever broken up with her and she wasn't buying his argument that it wasn't her it was him.

"Congrats dude.." Some drunk junior slurred to him as Rachel came in and pulled him by his arm.

"What are you doing?" He asked shocked that after what had been said outside she still thought they would actually be sharing the customary dance between the king and queen.

"You may be a total idiot but I am not letting you ruin this for me. Now fake it." She all but demanded through a gritted fake smile.

So Lucas seemingly had no choice but to obliged because he knew if he didn't he would be causing himself a lot more of a scene.

Brooke and the rest of his friends couldn't believe what they were seeing. But especially Brooke. She was fuming and for the first time she was speechless.

"Are you Okay Brooke?" Chased asked weary of how quiet Brooke remained as they watch Lucas and Rachel make their way to the center of the dance floor and be crowned.

"I just…can't believe it. For once, I didn't get what I want." She said not completely believing the words she was saying.

Peyton was doing a lot worse. Once the lights dimmed again and the newly crown couple began their dance she couldn't take it anymore.

She knew she shouldn't have been here. So she wasn't going to be anymore.

"I told you he didn't feel the same way. You should of just dropped it Brooke.." She whispered at Brooke with watery eyes as she took once last look at the couple just as they shared a kiss and then nearly spirited out of the gym.

She had been so stupid. Why couldn't she just let it go. Let him go. No, instead she had secretly been pinning for someone who wasn't hers. Someone who had made it perfectly clear that he didn't feel the same way.

"Damn it.." Brooke said as she watched Peyton go, knowing that not only had her plan not been successful, but she had certainly made things a whole hell of a lot worse.

That night after she made it home she made a conscious decision. Or however conscious a decision someone could make after too many cups of spiked punch.

She had to find a way to not love him anymore. To not be in love with him.

She figured this would be the best time as any to at least try. Their time had run out. High school would be ending in a matter of days and she would be leaving Tree Hill and everything would be different. They wouldn't live ten minutes away from each other. They wouldn't see each other everyday at school. It would be like a fresh start.

She just hoped that time and distance would be enough.

_ll I don't hear music anymore_  
><em>my ears are tired of all the pictures in the words<em>  
><em>you are in them still... ll<em>

_-.-.-.-.-_

TBC...

Song: "Hang You Up" by Yellowcard (great band and really awesome song!)

A/N: So of course things didn't work out, because well if it had then you would have known because this is all in reverse. But I say that in about 3-4 chapters we will back in the present and thats when things really pick up. But I can promise that the flashback in this chapter will be expanded, because really things are never what they seem. You know what they say: **Timing Is Everything. ;-)**


	7. Some time in the not so distance Future

A/N: Guess who actually updated? I know right these chapters seem to take longer and longer to get posted, but hey I'm trying here. LOL

-Now this chapter (well super fun to write) might be very complicated to read. Because well its from the Future. (=D) If you remember I've been doing this whole fic in reverse and going backwards from the ending of the first chapter. Well I still do plan to keep going backwards and then starting in on the present I was totally getting frustrated because I've known where I want to go with this since the beginning. So I'm going there, just a little early. This chapter has no date, and really since it's a Leyton story I don't think I'm giving much away..did you really think Lucas would marry Kate?

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

_ll I walked across an empty land,_  
><em>I knew the pathway like the back of my hand.<em>  
><em>I felt the earth beneath my feet,<em>  
><em>Sat by the river and it made me complete... ll<em>

It wasn't supposed to be like this. Not at all.

Now she would be the first to admit she wasn't entirely sure how things were supposed to be, but this…no she had never wanted this for him, or for that matter for her.

But somehow because of things she didn't really mean to happen and things that had been entirely out of her control, not only was he now a broken man, but watching him slowly destroy himself was slowly destroying her. She didn't want it to be this way; she just couldn't see the way out of all this mess. He had made it perfectly clear that he no longer wanted her in his life. And as much as she wanted to yell at him and tell him he was wrong to feel that way she just couldn't. Because she understood her place in all this. And in hindsight, she could definitely see her fault.

So all she could do was watch from afar and think about how this had happened.

Ever since this had begun- almost two months ago –and his life started this downward spiral, she thought about it. Thought about _that day_ and what had been said between them. She would never take back what she had said; she only wished that somehow she could go back and just change it all for the better. Change what had happened after, or better yet go back and change things from the very beginning. And then one day she realized it wasn't that simple. If she had the chance to go back and change a moment, which one would she choose? Which one to fix him? To fix her (and them)?

And more than that, as she thought back on all those years and memories she couldn't think of one instance that could be the exact moment that led them to their current state. Because when she really thought about it she knew it was all those years-all those missed chances and miscommunications-that brought them to their current situation.

With him drinking his days away, angry and hurt for losing the girl he was ready to spend the rest of his life with. With him being even more angry about the fact that he blamed Peyton for losing that other girl. And with Peyton taking his accusations to heart and feeling like she had ruined his life. Because in a way she had.

Now they didn't talk. They tried their hardest to avoid each other (for very different reasons). It was the longest these two old friends had gone without the other, and they both were at their breaking point. She hoped she knew him well enough to know that he would finally give in and talk to her. But as each day passed without a call or a visit, she began to think she didn't know him at all.

No, she had never wanted this.

She had done all she could- for years and years- to make sure that however she felt about her best friend wasn't spoken of, because she was so sure it would ruin their friendship.

She was right too, because in the end, it had.

_ll Oh simple thing, where have you gone?_  
><em>I'm getting old and I need something to rely on...<em>  
><em>So tell me when you're gonna let me in,<em>  
><em>I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin. ll<em>

He knew that the drinking didn't solve anything. Didn't take away the hurt and humiliation. It wouldn't bring her back. Either girl really. That's right, somehow he had lost the two most important women in his life, on the same day no less.

Now he'd like to think that he lost one girl because of the other, but he knew that that wasn't true. Yes a confrontation had been had. And then another one had occurred because of the first inevitably leaving him alone. But could he really blame Peyton for that?

Well he was, but he knew that he shouldn't. It was just easier to be mad at her than to try to understand what he was feeling or how he could fix it. So of course the drinking wasn't fixing anything, but it made him feel…_less_. The hurt and anger would dull and he could manage to exist like that.

He was glad that it was still summer and he didn't have to get up each day for work. Instead he spent the majority of his time locked away at home. Ignoring the world and the stares he got, and drinking because he felt he had nothing else. And on the off chance he did venture out the farthest he would get would was Tric. But most nights he didn't make it even out the door.

But not today.

Today he had actually woken before noon and for once in the last two months he didn't feel things to be so heavy. He always thought that saying, "Time Heals All Wounds", had been just something people said to others to make them feel better. But not today, he actually felt like he could breathe. Like he would pull through and somehow things would get better. Now he mostly felt like that because he had resolved himself to believe that by burying how he felt would be the only way to move on. So he got ready for the day before the afternoon, and had been able to shoot around at the river court during the middle of the day when he was sure no one would be there. And just having the fifteen minutes of him, a basketball, and silence had even bettered his mood.

He was gonna be Okay. And if that meant pretending his heart wasn't completely broken, that it wasn't killing him to ignore his best friend, ignore what he felt…then so be it.

But then a funny thing happened.

Just as he was about to leave the court, she passed by. Totally unaware of his presence, with the top down on her classic convertible, her curly blonde hair blowing in the wind, with her music blaring for the whole world to hear. And he knew in that moment no amount of time or denial would ever fix him. Because in that single instant he still felt so unbelievably much for that girl.

Love. Admiration. Compassion. Awe. Sadness. Regret. Anger.

And he couldn't pretend any of that away.

So he guessed that meant he would keep to the drinking instead.

_ll I came across a fallen tree,_  
><em>I felt the branches of it looking at me.<em>  
><em>Is this the place we used to love?<em>  
><em>Is this the place that I've been dreaming of? ll<em>

She had been rushing to meet Brooke for lunch, taking the shortcut that passed the park when she saw him. She acted like she didn't, but she did. She hadn't seen him since _that day_, and she really was too far away and pretending like she didn't notice him to really look at him. But she was sure it was him. She had wanted nothing more than to stop. To at the very least, check up on him and make sure he was doing ok (it was the best friend in her).

But she wanted so much more than that. She wanted to go up to him and scream at him. To yell at him for being such a jerk recently. She wanted to make him see her side of things. Make him understand why she had said what she had.

What she really wanted was to go up to him and kiss him like she had wanted to do for so long now (since always).

But she didn't do any of that. Instead she kept driving, pretending to not be effected by simply passing him as he stood at that court that held so many memories of him and her together. She drove till she got to Brooke's store and when she made it inside she finally broke down and cried. Cried for him and how hard it was to finally just glimpse at him. But more than that she cried because she had no idea what was gonna happen, and if anything would ever be fixed again.

_ll Oh simple thing, where have you gone?_  
><em>I'm getting old and I need something to rely on,<em>  
><em>So tell me when you're gonna let me in...<em>  
><em>I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin. ll<em>

After that afternoon at the river court he loses any glimmer of hope and reverts back to his stand by routine. He knows that summer is coming to a quick end and he has to find a way to get it together. His work and his players deserve as much. He knows he has to start answering his phone when his mother or Haley or Nathan or really anyone calls him. But he just doesn't want to. He's stuck. Stuck in some in between place where he doesn't know what's up or down, and he feels like he has no one to help him figure out what to do. There had been only one time he's ever felt this way and it was when he had lost Keith. But he hadn't been alone then. He had had Peyton. She had been there when he was so angry at the world for taking his Uncle. When he felt nothing but guilt because he blamed himself. But now he didn't have her to be there, because she was the reason (he was still blaming her when he shouldn't) that he was alone.

And then one night after drinking too much- per his routine –in his very drunken state he realized he should confront her, asking what gave her the right to ruin his life the way she had. In his fogged mind he deemed it necessary, essential. So somehow he managed to walk halfway across town to the small bungle home she had purchased when she had moved home. Lucas had always thought that the grayish house by the river had always been the perfect one for her and when he told her so she only smiled and said she felt like it suited her. Now as he walked up to it (more like stumbled) he wished she hadn't lived here. Hadn't moved home. He wished she would have just stayed away from Tree Hill and him.

She was in her office sketching when she heard someone knocking, more like pounding on her front door. She should have been just a little bit taken aback by whoever saw it reasonable to come to her house so late in the evening, but when she looked out from her window and saw who was standing (leaning on) her front porch she was more than surprised.

Not surprised that it was him, but more so that it had taken him so long.

She knew Lucas Scott (ever since they were five years old). She knew that he would think and over think things until he finally was ready to work through it. To finally stop being stuck about what was in his head and instead try to figure out what he could do to move on.

So she didn't think twice when she opened her door to him. She did take a second glance when she saw his appearance though. His wrinkled clothes and fidgety mannerisms. His beady blood shot eyes and the definite smell of liquor. But before she could even welcome him in he was walking past her and inside her home like they hadn't just been ignoring each other all summer. Like they hadn't been friends since _that day_.

"Why did you do it?" He asked with no qualms, straight away because he knew that if he didn't he would end up apologizing and things would somehow go back to how they once were.

"Lucas..." She whispered as she shook her head.

"No I need to know…what gave you the right? Who do you think you are?" He nearly yelled as his anger got the better of him because of her quiet dismissal.

_ll And if you have a minute, why don't we go_  
><em>Talk about it somewhere only we know?<em>  
><em>This could be the end of everything<em>  
><em>So why don't we go somewhere only we know?<em>  
><em>Somewhere only we know... ll<em>

"_Don't get married." She told him with her head down, ashamed at her own admission. _

_She knew how she felt, but did that give her any real right to say it? She loved him, wanted what was best for him, that gave her all the right in the world she told herself._

"_What?" He questioned, shocked by her words._

"_Look you're rushing into this, it's like you're trying to skip ahead to the end of the book. Luke, you're the most romantic guy I know; and this is how your great romantic quest comes to an end?" She tried to argue as he looked at her with something she had never since in his eyes. Betrayal._

"_That's not true. I proposed to Kate remember, it was me asking her to get married…" Lucas argued right back. _

"_You just asked because you don't want to be alone. Lucas come on, I know you. I know that you just want someone and…Kate just happened to be there." She with an unyielding conviction. She had to get this out. She had to tell him how she felt. _

"_You're just disappearing into someone else's wedding, someone else's house, someone else's life without a second thought. That's not the amazing ending that you deserve." She told him as she took hold of his hand and willed him to believe her. _

"_I love her Peyton. I'm in love with her." He told her as he search her emerald eyes, wanting so desperately for her to believe him. Even if he didn't, he had to make her believe it. _

_Finally when he saw that stubbornness, Peyton's inability to back down, he let go of her hand and began to walk away._

_He couldn't believe her. Here she was, his best friend telling him all the reasons why he shouldn't get married, instead of supporting him. Instead of just wanting to see him happy. _

"_You can't…because I love you. I love you Lucas, and I think I have since forever. I was just too scared to ever tell you. But, I do…" She finally said as her eyes began to water._

_Nearly a lifelong friendship and the one thing that had never been spoken between them had finally caught up to them. The one thing that had always been true had finally been said, and Peyton really hoped it would be reciprocated. _

"_I have loved you since we were kids" She said, her voice softening as she remembered all the moments they had shared._

"_Since we were seven and you held my lunch tray everyday because I couldn't because I broke my arm. I've loved you since all the times you told me those silly knock-knock jokes to make me laugh after my mom died. When I didn't come home for Christmas that one year in college and you drove over to spend it with me. I have always loved you Lucas." She said with a shaky breath. _

_Lucas couldn't turn around and look at her. All this time. All this time he had loved her, had wanted nothing more than to finally be with her. He knew if he turned around what he would say in return. He wanted to tell her he had loved her just as long. Since the first grade when he told his mother he thought Peyton Sawyer was the pretty girl in the town. Had loved her since they were teenagers and had wanted so badly to be the boy who could call her his girlfriend. _

_He knew if he turned around what he would say in return. So he didn't. He kept walking to reached the door, until he turned the knob and was ready to walk away._

"_It's too late.." He said as he finally walked out. Walked away from the girl who had always been in his heart. Away from the relationship that was supposed to always be. _

_Because it was too late. He (they) had made their choices so long ago. And now, it was too late to go back to change it. He (they) had made their choices and now they had to live with them. _

_And if that meant he lost her for the future that was waiting for him, then so be it._

__ll Oh simple thing, where have you gone?_  
><em>I'm getting old and I need something to rely on,<em>  
><em>So tell me when you're gonna let me in...<em>  
><em>I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin. ll<em>_

"What was I supposed to do…stay quiet? Support you when I knew it was the wrong choice?" She shot right back, weary of the anger in his eyes.

"You were supposed to tell me all that years ago. Before there was a Kate. Before there was a Jake or anyone…" He says with an intensity he didn't think he ever had.

But it was true. That's what he had been thinking since _that day_. Since long before then too. They had had so many chances to get it right, and yet so many times he was too afraid to say anything because she thought he hadn't felt the same way. That if he even hinted towards his feelings it would destroy their friendship. And now it was all too late. Her words and what they caused. They weren't friends…they weren't anything anymore.

"Why? It's pretty clear that you never felt the same way..." She told him as she dismissed his very true argument.

Who did he think he was? Coming to her home- drunk no less- and demanding answers when he had never been forthcoming to give any answers himself.

"That's bullshit and you know it." He said as he shook his head at her words.

He might not have ever just came out and told her how he felt, but it's not like he's ever been able to hide things from her. To him, his actions always spoke louder than his words, and he had been showing her he loved her since they were kids. Hadn't she been paying attention?

And that's when it hit him. The severity of this moment. He had always loved her, just like she had always loved him. They had spent their whole lives pretending like it wasn't true, like all they were was just friends. They tried to bury it, tried to ignore it, and what did that get them?

Still apart. Still alone. And no longer friends.

So what did it matter then? Why fight about it, if it wouldn't change what had happened?

"I'm gonna go…" He said as he looked into her eyes for a split second, far more sober now then when he arrived.

"Ok.." She told him, not really sure what to say after what had already been said.

As she watched him go, still a bit wobbly, she wondered what this had meant, if anything. Would they ever be friends again? Did she just want his friendship? Would he even remember in the morning?

She didn't know.

For once in her life she didn't know what was gonna happen between her and Lucas, and honestly she wasn't sure if she wanted to find out. Because she had this nagging feeling that nothing could take back what had happened. And their friendship, their everything, was over.

And that really was the most tragic thing.

_ll And if you have a minute, why don't we go_  
><em>Talk about it somewhere only we know?<em>  
><em>This could be the end of everything<em>  
><em>So why don't we go somewhere only we know?<em>  
><em>Somewhere only we know... ll<em>

When Lucas collapsed on his bed that night he decided on a few things. First was that he had to stop drinking. Drinking made him do stupid things, like go and see Peyton and say things he shouldn't. Second was that he had to had to finally deal with how he was feeling. He knew that he loved Peyton. He knew that she had been right to tell him not to marry Kate and that it wasn't fair that he blame her for what happened between him and Kate.

He had loved Peyton Sawyer since he was just a little boy who didn't even understand what love was. But in the end both of their hearts had been broken. That wasn't fair to her or him.

In Lucas' still slightly drunken mind he could only see one possible option he had left.

He could let her go.

He loved her enough to sacrifice his own happiness for hers. So letting her go would be the only way.

Now he just had to figure out how to do it.

_ll Oh, this could be the end of everything_  
><em>So why don't we go somewhere only we know?<em>  
><em>Somewhere only we know,<em>  
><em>Somewhere only we know... ll<em>

**_TBC..._**

**_-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-_**

**_A/N II: So_** its obvious that this happened after the first chapter, but how long after? What happened that led to this? What will happen next? (When did this flashback happen?) Too confusing?

It might be, but I mean thats what my whole fic has been about, you know history. How we get to a certain moment in time and why. This chapter is just a different moment in time, and hopeful it keeps you interested. Also some of the dialogue from the flashback wasn't mine. Can anyone guess where it's from?

-Song: "Somewhere Only We Know" By: Keane (This song is such a classic already!)


	8. 17

A/N: So I'm pretty sure I win for worse updater of the year. I have no excuses, really. I'm still busy and all, but I guess I just lost interest. But then I saw all of S9, including the Lucas episode and also that finale and I totally got re-inspired to at the very least finish this. So I'm getting myself back on track. I've revised the outline and started working on chapters again and hopeful it won't take 6 months to update again. _Hopefully. _

_-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-_

_ll Like ships in the night_  
><em>You keep passing me by<em>  
><em>We're just wasting time<em>  
><em>Trying to prove who's right lll<em>

This was certainty going to be the wedding of the year in their town.

Everyone had been waiting decades for these two to get it together. And now that they had gotten it together there was an excitement, an urgency for it to happen as quickly as possible.

Which was kind of funny considering how fast their actual courtship had been.

Yes technically Keith and Karen had only been dating a few short months before he popped the question to her, but really it had been a lifetime coming, and that was why everyone had been more than willing to help these two finally make it official.

Now Peyton had never been the girly type who got crazy over things like weddings, that was more Brooke's style. But this wedding was different.

She had known Keith and Karen for so long and if there was two people who deserved happiness more anything it was them. And as Brooke had said when they had announced their engagement to everyone, they were the epitome of what true loved looked like.

And beyond the couple themselves, there was also Luke. Ever since his mom and Keith had announced their plans to marry the guy had been ecstatic. But more than that, ever since he had been different. Lighter and more at peace than Peyton had ever seen him, and well that made her feel that way too.

Seeing the people around her, who she loved and cared about finally get what they want, what they deserve sort of put things in perspective for Peyton. Especially her unsaid feelings for her best friend.

She knew she had been in love with that boy since…always.

Definitely since she had returned to Tree Hill a few years before, and most likely before than too.

But for so long she had so many doubts about expressing how she felt about him. She was a teenage girl, she always felt in doubt. But having unspoken feelings for her best friend was just so much, because she felt like it was more than what she was ready for. Because he was _Lucas. _

He was her oldest friend. He was her first crush. Her first kiss (technically, but that's a long story). And was nearly certain he could be a lot more first for her. And just maybe her only too.

Still she just couldn't shake all the fear.

What if he didn't feel the same way? What if he only saw her as a friend? Couldn't admitting how she felt, potentially destroy their friendship? What if she lost him?

The way she saw it, she had several valid reasons (excuses) why admitting her true feelings- especially out loud and to him- could literally blow up in her face.

_ll And if it all goes crashing into the sea_  
><em>If it's just you and me<em>  
><em>Trying to find the light ll<em>

But as time passed, and especially now with the wedding and everyone around her so happy and talking about things like love, and fate, and forever, Peyton started to feel like if she didn't just burst out and say how she felt the next time she was alone with him she might just lose it.

And as drastic and exasperated as that sounded it was totally true. Being a part of this wedding had only added to the situation.

Last week when Karen had come to her and asked her to be her maid of honor Karen had tearfully admitted that if Anna had still been alive she would have asked her, so it was only fitting that Peyton stand in. She had also mentioned that it would also mean something to her to see Peyton arm in arm walk with Lucas (he was the best man) down the aisle.

How could she tell her no after that?

So now here she was walking down the aisle during the rehearsal, her arm linked with her best friend and everyone smiling at the two- as if everyone knew a secret that the blondes didn't. Peyton smiled along, gripping his arm a little tighter and trying to remember that this was all pretend. That it was just a rehearsal and she was just the maid of honor and he was just the best man.

But it definitely gave her the courage she needed. The courage she had been lacking for years to say the one thing she had known for so long.

She was in love with her best friend (Always had been). And she hoped to god he felt the same.

So she had to tell him. She couldn't keep it in anymore. It was time to do something about it.

_ll Like ships in the night letting cannon balls fly_  
><em>Say what you mean and it turns to a fight… ll<em>

Brooke pulled her away from him at the end of the aisle chatting away about the epic Wedding to-do-list she had compiled.

Florists, caterers, linens, photographers, and music. The list seemed never ending.

She started explaining that everything had been reserved and reservations had to once again be checked (by Peyton) and then double checked (by Haley).

"Are you listening to me P. Sawyer? Because I really don't like to be ignored." Brooke huffed as her best friend distractingly around the hall of the church.

"Oh I know, no one wants to deal with Brookie monster." Peyton said again paying attention to her friend as Brooke waved that dumb list around again.

"Good. Now remember you're in charge of checking on items 1-17. Don't Forget." Brooke whined.

"Ok, jeez..you'd think you were getting married." Peyton mumbled as she started walking away.

"Just wait till I get married! This is nothing." Brooke shouted back, receiving a disapproving head shake from the minister for yelling.

Peyton could only shake her head too. She was dreading the day Brooke Davis announced her engagement, to whomever she eventually marry. Peyton knew what a terror she would be when the day came, and was definitely not looking forward to it.

_ll Chasing your dreams since the violent 5th grade_  
><em>Trying to believe in your silent own way<em>  
><em>Cause we'll be ok... I'm not going away<em>  
><em>Like you watched at fourteen as it went down the drain. ll<em>

When Keith had come to him not a month before and said they needed to have a talk, Lucas was a little more than worried. He assumed by the way his Uncle looked ready to pass out that it was bad news of some sort. For a good few seconds Lucas racked his mind to try to think if he had done anything wrong as of late to have brought the sudden need to "talk".

But then his Uncle started explaining, quite nervously, how much he loved Karen. How much he had always saw Lucas as a son, and how he wanted nothing more than to finally make them a real family.

That sounded pretty good to Lucas. So good, that when Keith had asked permission to marry his mom, Lucas was more than willing to give it.

Because honestly, Lucas had been waiting so long, for his uncle and mother to get their chance. He always knew that his uncle harbored feelings for his mom, and he had never had a problem with it considering that Keith had always been there for them. To Luke, he had always been more than just his uncle, he had been a father to him too. So when the couple, finally became a couple, he was more than sure it would eventually lead to happiness and contentment for everyone.

And it had.

Ever since they had announced their engagement it had been a flurry of activity to try to make it happen as fast as possible. Lucas was more than willing than to oblige, more so when he found out his mother had picked Peyton as her maid of honor (he was the best man). It had given him reason to spend even more time with his best friend, which really had never been a bad thing especially in the last few months.

Before all the excitement about the wedding had begun things had already been busy in their lives. If school and working at the body shop and café wasn't enough, Lucas rarely got the chance to hang out with his friends since basketball season had started. So when Keith and his mom had announced their engagement, and Brooke became, well Brooke, and started in on all the planning he was more than thankful to get to spent time with his friends, especially Peyton. Even if it was to wedding related.

And in all the extra time he had been spending with her, he had been becoming more and more aware of the obvious feelings he had always carried for her. He was in love with her, had been for a long time, but like always he wasn't really sure what to do about it.

Yes he loved her because she was funny and sarcastic. He loved her because she was kind and smart and witty. And he wasn't even gonna go in to how beautiful she was (that was a list in itself). But he also knew her.

Knew all that she had been through, how scared she was to lose someone else in her life. And it's not that he could blame her for feeling that way, but it definitely made him second guess what he should do. He was positive that it could work out, but then again was their friendship worth risking?

He wasn't entire sure, but spending so much time with her because of the wedding was certainly make him realize that he should be making the decision sooner rather than later.

So now he was at church waiting for the rehearsal to start and watching adorningly from afar as Peyton tried to keep a very excited, but also very pushy Brooke Davis in control.

"Hey Luke…do you have a sec?" His uncle asked him, Keith noticing what, or rather who held Lucas' attention.

"Sure Keith." Lucas answered with a smile as he finally turned away from the girl who had been (had always been) consuming his thoughts.

"How you doing?" Keith asked as the pair began walking just a little away from the group.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that? Making sure you're not having any second thoughts?" Lucas answered back with a quiet laugh.

"Believe me Luke, I've wanted to marry your mother for a long time, there aren't any second thoughts." Keith said with a smile.

"I know..I'm really happy for you Keith. For Mom too." Lucas admitted.

"Thanks Luke." Keith told him, proud of the man his nephew was becoming.

Their quiet moment was broken when they heard the laughing coming inside. They turned to see a rather annoyed Brooke, and a laughing Peyton.

"So have you told Peyton how you feel yet?" His uncle said nonchalantly, but with a slight amused tone.

He had been the only one Lucas had ever told (even if everyone could tell because it was so obvious). His Uncle was his greatest confident when it came to discussing his blonde best friend.

Lucas could only shake his head with an embarrassed smile.

"Not yet…" He explained as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"You know Luke; I've loved your Mom for so long. And I don't regret waiting so long to tell her how I felt because I believe things happen when their supposed to. But sometimes I think about all the time I, we wasted. All we could have right now if I would have just told her sooner." Keith admitted, thinking about all that had happened over the years. All the chances he never took and choices he wished he had made differently.

He didn't want Lucas to make the same mistakes, he knew he had been lucky in finally getting his chance with the love of his life, and he didn't want for Lucas to miss his chance. Because he was sure that the love his nephew had for that girl was real. He saw it first hand, how much they were right for each other, so he had been their silent supporter for years. Constantly trying to urge Lucas to finally tell her how he felt. But all his advice had been falling on deaf ears, or so it seemed.

"I know…it's just what if it messes everything up? It's hard not telling her, so hard. But I keep thinking is what if it ruins our friendship? Then what…a life without Peyton in it…that's harder to think about then anything else." Lucas thought out loud.

It really was that simple. He knew that he loved her, more than anything. And if that love wasn't enough and he lost her it would be too painful. So instead he let things be, he let his fear take over and didn't do anything but be her best friend.

"Things happen when they're supposed to right?" Lucas said with a smile as he turned around and watched Peyton again, their eyes catching one another for a brief second.

"They do…but sometimes it doesn't happen soon enough." Keith countered, wishing above anything else that Lucas would understand.

_ll Turn the lights down low_  
><em>Walk these halls alone<em>  
><em>We can feel so far from so close ll<em>

Later in the afternoon as the rehearsal went on and Lucas and Peyton march behind his mother and uncle he couldn't help but feel that it was all practice for more than just the engaged couple. It was a glimpse of his future too. And as he thought that over, also thinking about what he and his Uncle had been discussing, he knew he just had to be willing to wait for it.

He had to be willing to show her that he would never go anywhere, that he would always be there no matter what. So if that meant staying her best friend (and nothing else) until he was sure she could see that his love for her was unwavering, then that's what he was gonna do.

But not everyone saw that logic to be smart.

After the rehearsal was done and everyone stood lingering around waiting to leave for dinner Lucas stood off to the side, again sneaking glances at Peyton. He was willing to wait, but he just couldn't help but look from a far.

"You know you're not that subtle…" Haley said as she walked over to him, trying to escape the craziness of Brooke Davis.

"Excuse me?" Lucas said, trying to act nonchalant.

"Come on, I have to talk to you." Haley said as she dragged him away from everyone else.

Haley wasn't blind. She had seen (like everyone) that these two blondes were clearly more than friends. Her catching Lucas looking at Peyton that way he had been was not the first time. But she was certainly getting sick of it. Annoyed with the fact that he hadn't, for that matter Peyton hadn't, just stepped up and been honest. Was that so hard? Speaking from her own experience with everything she had gone through with Nathan in the last year, she knew that silently loving someone wasn't enough. She knew that the only way Lucas and Peyton could eventually be happy would be if they actually spoke up, if they finally just went for it.

Because Haley had the feeling that if neither of them did it soon, they might just miss their chance.

_ll Like ships in the night_  
><em>You keep passing me by<em>  
><em>We're just wasting time<em>  
><em>Trying to prove who's right ll<em>

"So…" Lucas said as he turned around and waited for his friend to explain why she needed to talk to him.

"What the hell are you doing?" Haley said frustrated by this whole situation.

"What?" Lucas said, clearly not getting it.

"Luke, you're my best friend. And I know you better than almost anyone. And you might not have ever said anything but, _I know_." She explained.

"_You know_..know what?" Lucas asked getting more confused by the minute.

"I know that you love Peyton. That you're in love with her." She admitted and watched as the recognition in Lucas' eyes finally shined.

"Haley.." He started saying, but then just stopped. How could he explain it to her, make her see that it was not her business.

"I get it ok, she's your best friend. Your other one. And I know how she is, she's so protective of her heart…but Lucas I know she loves you too." Haley admitted trying to convince him.

"Hales.." Lucas whispered, nearly defeated. He wanted nothing more than to believe her. To believe it all to be true. But he had finally resigned himself to believing that it would be better to wait. That it would be better to give her time before he did anything. Haley was making it all to easy to throw caution to the wind and just go for it.

"No, you need to hear this. She loves you, I'm sure of it. You two are just the biggest idiots I know, and you're wasting time. Time you won't get back Luke. So why are?"

"It's not that easy Haley. You don't get it. I just can't tell how I feel. She's not ready to hear it." Lucas tried to explain.

"So you admit it, then…that you love her?" She asked, hoping that she was getting through to him.

"Of course." He answered simply. Because it really was that simple. She was Peyton, _his Peyton_.

"Then what are you waiting for? I mean, you saw what me and Nathan went through. Look at your mom and Keith…your just willing to do nothing for the girl you love?" She urged.

"What if I tell her and it ruins everything? I don't know if I'm willing to take that chance..." He argued back, still unsure.

"Above all else I just want her to be happy. And she is right now, really happy actually. So is it really a big deal if I just wait a while to make sure it's the right choice?" He said with finality in his voice.

"But Lucas…" Haley started again determined to make him see reason and stop thinking like such a boy.

_ll And if it all goes crashing into the sea_  
><em>If it's just you and me trying to find the light ll<em>

Peyton had finally escaped the wrath of Brooke Davis and had wandered back in to find Lucas and Haley so everyone could finally leave for dinner. She walked down the side corridor to the dressing room when she heard the shouting coming from the last door. It was pretty obvious that the two friends were in the middle of a pretty headed conversation. Of course, eavesdropping was wrong, but then she heard her name and she couldn't help herself.

"Haley can you please stop.." She heard Lucas nearly shout however muffled through the door.

She couldn't hear what Haley was saying, because well Haley wasn't shouting. But Lucas certainty was.

"No, Peyton's my friend. Okay? That's it. **Only my friend."** He emphasized.

"Well it doesn't matter… All she'll ever be is my friend." He said firmly.

That was all she needed to hear before she walked in the other direction and back outside.

"Did you find them?" Nathan asked her as she tried her best not to cry. Tried her best not to show how completely broken she became by just a few words.

"No I didn't…" She told him as she kept walking toward her car.

And that was the end of that.

_ll Trying to find the light_  
><em>Like ships in the night<em>  
><em>You're passing me by<em>  
><em>You're passing me by<em>  
><em>Like ships in the night ll<em>

Lucas ended his conversation sort of harshly with Haley and told her for the time being Peyton could only be his friend. He just couldn't risk it yet. And really he just didn't know what to do other than just wait it out. He was sure that it would all work out if he gave it some time. He'd figured it would be better to wait to when he was sure she would be ready for them to be together. He wasn't stupid, he knew that _, this, _their relationship, would be big and important. He wasn't will to ruin it before it had even got the chance because he didn't do it right.

He loved Peyton Sawyer, he was positive of that. And he knew she would be worth the wait. He truly believed that. Even if Haley had made some good points, what was a little time? A few months? For now he would stay her best friend and be there for her and when the time came he hoped it would all work out. It had for Nathan and Haley. And it had for his mom and Keith.

If he only knew just how much could happen in just a few months…all that they would lose and all the mistakes that would be made. But it was too late to go back.

_ll And if it all goes crashing into the sea_  
><em>If it's just you and me<em>  
><em>Trying to find the light ll<em>

Peyton had finally gotten her answer to all her doubts. It was settled in her mind rather easily.

So what if she loved Lucas? So what if she thought he might love her back? He didn't. He had said so. He only wanted to be her friend and she couldn't be angry or hurt because of that. She couldn't stop being his friend, his confidant.

Things would be better this way, she wouldn't make a fool of herself and she wouldn't make things awkward between them. She could just pretend like everything was fine the way things were. That's what she'd always done.

So the next day when it was the real wedding she walked down the aisle with him and smiled politely. When she had to dance with him she did. Just one dance and then she did what she did best. She ignored how she was feeling and she ignored him for the rest of the night, and she promised herself that the heartbreak she was feeling wasn't all consuming. That it hadn't been real love because it hadn't been reciprocated.

She was gonna be Okay, she always had been. So what if she was doing it on her own, she knew that when it came down to it, she was probably better off.

Of course she didn't believe that, but she would just keep telling herself that to get through it.

_ll Trying to find the light_  
><em>Like ships in the night<em>  
><em>You're passing me by<em>  
><em>You're passing me by<em>  
><em>Like ships in the night ll<em>

_Song: "Ships in the Night"-Matt Kearney_

* * *

><p>AN #2: So thats what happened at that wedding that was mentioned a few chapter back. I don't know about you but I'm ready to get back to the present...I think its been sufficiently established that LP aren't together for many reasons, mainly their own choices. Now I'm just ready to get them back in the present so we can get some happiness, don't you agree?


	9. 22 Again

_**A/N:**_ I know, I know..I'm the worst updater. I make no excuses, because while I might always be busy (two graduate programs simultaneously was the dumbest choice, **EVER**), I do enjoy writing this, but I just can't seem to commit enough time. However, I will finish this story, that is the only thing I can promise.

Now this chapter finally gets back to the present, and considering this fic started all the way back when, it might be good if you reread (like everything), so this chapter makes sense.

In any case, if there is anyone who is still reading, I really would appreciate the review, it might help me to not take months (&months), to update. Thanks. =)

_**-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-**_

_**ll **__**I won't do what you told me,  
>I won't do what you said (no).<br>I'm not gonna stop feeling,  
>I'm not gonna forget it… ll<strong>_

_She had never been more excited and nervous at the same time before. Considering things she was just so happy to finally be home. It had taken a lot of coercing to convince her father that not only was she mature and responsible enough to be on her own so much while he would be away, but that her coming back to Tree Hill was really the best thing after all these years. She had found her peace long ago, and at 14 years old, she felt like she could handle returning to the place that held so many memories and people that meant so much to her. Now, that wasn't to say her mother's death didn't still hurt. It always would, but Peyton felt like going back home, to that town and her house, to be back with her friends was just what she needed to finally feel normal again._

_So now here she was, unpacking her bag in her old room as her father explained to her once again that this summer would be a trial run. Larry had a six week job planned for the middle of the break and if Peyton could prove to him that she could be ok without him there during that time he would allow her to come back for her freshmen year of high school. _

"_Now I've already talked to Miss. Roe, she agreed to let you come help her out this summer at the Café. It's nothing much, but I'm sure it will keep you out of any trouble you may find." Larry said somewhat undecidedly._

_He knew his daughter would be ok, she was a survivor just like her mother had been. But he also knew he had done the right thing all those years ago when he had sent her to live with her grandmother. At the time he had been too distraught to care for the girl and what hurt more was knowing she was just as broken as he was. She had thrived in Wilmington and had been happy in the years away from Tree Hill. She had some contact with her old friends (mainly Lucas and his family), but she had also made a new start and Larry was certain that that had help her and him. _

_And that was why he was trying to be supportive and give her the chance to prove herself. She (they) had grown so much in the time away, and it seemed right to start living the life that they once had, even if someone was missing from it. _

_He had switched companies and would now be in Tree Hill more often. Just not as much as he hoped, and that was why they were doing this practice run during the summer. He wanted to believe it would be okay, that Peyton would be able to handle spending so much time on her own, but he was a father after all. A father who hadn't done the best job by his daughter in so long, and was now trying to make up for that by being overprotective._

"_I know Dad, I can handle this.." She said again for what felt like the hundredth time as she finished unpacking._

_She hoped that the never-ending lecture was over because she had places to be, people to see._

_Mainly a certain blond boy she was certain would be playing ball by the river._

_**ll **__**Cause when you took my heart,  
>You took it all.<br>When you gave it back  
>It fell apart.. ll<strong>_

_Lucas._

_He had been the strongest connection Peyton still had of Tree Hill. While she supposedly was happy in Wilmington, supposedly content with how her life was in that bigger small town, the truth was she had merely been managing all these years because she had kept a part of her past life with her. Her best friend had kept his promise and had never stopped being her friend. While it had been difficult in the beginning to keep in touch, the two never forgot the other. And that was why she was willing to deal with her Dad and all his lectures and rules. If it meant finally getting the chance to be home, to have her best friend(s) around all the time, she was more than willing to comply._

_Because it was not only Lucas she was excited to see, or his family, but Brooke too. Somehow, the two girls had managed to remain friends, when things like distance, and school, and teenage problems could have easily allowed them to drift apart. Instead they bonded over what they still had in common, like Algebra tests and the fears they had about high school. They listened to each others' boy problems (Peyton usually did more of the listening on that topic), and they laughed about memories of long ago sleepovers and inside jokes. As much as Peyton was dying to Lucas, she also couldn't wait to finally get the chance to see her other best friend too. _

"_Dad do you think I can go out for a while? Just walk around for a bit?" She asked sweetly with a smile, hoping her Dad would be convinced._

"_Sure. Back by dark and always have your cell on." He replied with a smile, knowing who his daughter would be out searching for._

"_Thanks Dad." She said as she grabbed her bag and ran out the door._

_Peyton had told Lucas about her summer return back into town, and also about the possibility of her returning permanently. _

_She just hadn't told him when she would be getting in. Instead she thought it would be a lot more fun if she could surprise him. _

_Considering it was the middle of the day, she figured he could either be at his mom's café, no doubt helping with the lunch rush, or at the Rivercourt. As Peyton made her way toward the business fronts in downtown, she figured given the ragging heat provided by the North Carolina sun, his mother's café (which was air conditioned) was the more likely choice. _

_When she walked in and was first refreshed by the gust of cool air and then noticed the many patrons sitting and eating she assumed she had made the right choice._

_And then she made it to the counter where Karen was standing with her back to her._

"_I hope I still get free sweet tea because it's just too hot." Peyton said with a smile as the older woman slowly turned, recognizing the voice._

"_Peyton Sawyer." Karen answered with her motherly tone and smile._

"_Come here right now!" Karen motioned and quickly engulfed Peyton in her one-of-a-kind hugs._

"_It is so good to see you." She whispered as she pulled away._

_All Peyton could do was smile bigger in return, because yeah, it was so good to see her too. _

_**ll **__**So...  
>I won't do what you told me,<br>I won't do what you said, no.  
>I'm not gonna stop feeling,<br>I'm not gonna forget it … ll**_

"_Now me and your dad had a very long conversation," Karen began as she walked over to the pitcher of tea on the counter and began pouring._

"_And he pretty much insisted that I have your help over the summer." She finished with a knowing look as she handled over the cold drink. _

"_Yup, that was part of the deal. You don't mind do you?" Peyton asked as she gulped half of her glass and set it down._

"_Honey of course not, I could actually use the help, since my son apparently is so busy." Karen said causing both of them to laugh. They both knew the only thing Lucas was ever busy with was basketball._

"_Right, well speaking of your son, where is he? I figured he'd be around here…" Peyton asked as she looked around. _

"_You know that boy, rain or shine, he's out on that court.."_

"_Right." Peyton said with a smile, she should have known._

"_Anyway, before you go out in that heat, you are going to have lunch with me and tell me all about things." Karen playfully demanded._

_**ll **__**I don't wanna start over,  
>I don't wanna pretend that<br>you are not my lover,  
>That you're only my friend.<br>My friend,  
>I won't... ll<br>**_

"_So have you given any thought about what sort of extracurricular activities you might want to pursue in high school?" Karen asked as she and Peyton sat as the late afternoon breeze cool down their small town and the two shared a slice of peach pie._

"_Well, I haven't really given it much thought, I'm more worried about convincing my Dad I can stay…" Peyton admitted. She was confident that she could convince him, she just wasn't sure how much work it was going to take._

"_Oh don't you worry, I know your Dad, if he's giving you this chance, all you have to do is follow his rules, and you'll be fine." Karen declared as she got up to take their dishes to the back._

_Peyton certainty hoped so._

"_Cheerleading!" Karen yelled from the kitchen._

"_What?" Peyton asked laughing at her._

_Karen had pretty much been Peyton's second mom, since as long as she could remember. Her parents had grown up with Karen, her mother and Karen being very close all throughout high school. So much so, that when Peyton and Lucas was born, the women frequently set up play dates with the kids. That was why Lucas and Peyton had always been such good friends, because they'd literally known each other their entire lives._

_When Anna had died, it nearly broke Karen's heart, and when she saw how much Peyton and Larry were suffering, all though she didn't necessary like it, she supported Larry's decision to send Peyton to live with his mother. But now things were different, and Karen was more than positive that not only would Peyton thrive in Tree Hill, Karen would be more than willing to step up and help the girl in any way she could. To guide her, to listen to her, and love her like her mother would have._

"_You should try out for cheerleading." Karen explained as she came back to the front register._

"_Cheerleading, really?" Peyton questioned with a skeptical face. _

"_Yeah, me and your mom were Raven cheerleaders! We used to have so much fun, I'm sure you would love it." Karen stated enthusiastically. _

_At the very mention of her mother, Peyton lost any ability to form words and instead nodded at the suggestion. _

_**ll Well, maybe you're not right for me.  
>Maybe this is hard to see,<br>I get lost in your beauty,  
>And I just stop questioning. ll<strong>_

_As the early dinner rush began to pour in Peyton left the little café that she was so glad to have come first too, even if Lucas hadn't been there. Spending some time with Karen had been the perfect way to familiarize herself with Tree Hill and her past._

_But now it was time to find the other person who made her feel that way. So she began to walk (slowly, because it was still quite hot) to the Rivercourt._

_She had just crossed Main Street and started walking toward the park when she saw another familiar face walking out of Max's record store._

"_Well, well…" Peyton said as the girl before her had yet to see her, clearly to busy looking at her new purchase._

"_Oh my god, Peyton!" Haley said as she look up and saw the blonde girl and immediately gathered her in a hug, clearly not caring if they blocked the sidewalk._

_Well they might not share the same bond as Peyton shared with Lucas or Brooke, the pair had gotten to know each other through Lucas and Brooke and had eventually developed a solid friendship, that included their many shared interests like movies, and books, and…_

"_The new Ryan Adam's album, nice choice." Peyton said as they broke apart. _

"_I have just been dying to get it and I finally had an afternoon off to come." Haley explained as the two began walking, without prompting in the direction toward the park._

"_Yeah I was just at Karen's, and she mentioned you had the day off." _

"_Thank god, if I didn't get out of the place for some me time, I think I would have lost it." Haley explained with a laugh. _

"_So…" Haley began._

"_So." Peyton mimicked with a smile._

_**ll **__**Cause when you took my heart,  
>You took it all.<br>When you gave it back,  
>It fell apart… ll<strong>_

"_A blonde hair boy might of told me that you get to stay in Tree Hill for high school." Haley stated, the gossip in her just needing to know if it were true._

"_Yup, if I can show my Dad, "responsibility and dependability"…" Peyton said, doing her best impression of her Dad._

"_That's so awesome!" Haley exclaimed, clearly excited at the prospect. _

"_You know, he's been waiting on you forever…I'm glad you're finally here to stay." Haley said with sincerity that was nothing but honest and true. _

_Peyton could only smile in return, because they was no questioning exactly who __**he **__was, and that she too had been waiting forever to finally be back. _

_However as the pair finally made their way to the park, over to the far side of the field and onto the aged blacktop, they were very shocked to find both of Peyton's best friends under the hoop. _

_Together._

_Kissing. _

_That had not been the welcome Peyton had been expecting. Not at all. _

_**ll **__**You say it's easier to burn than to build.  
>You say it's easier to hurt than to heal.<br>But I say you lose when you give up what you love.. ll**_

"So…" He said with a smile, as he looked over at her.

After they stood in the middle of the semi-crowded airport hugging each other; like it'd been years since they last seen each other and not months, they walked (arms linked), to grab Peyton's luggage, before they hopped into that old car of his and made their way to their little town.

"So..." She mimicked back, too engrossed with the scenery around them as he drove. It might not have been long since she had been home, but something about this town and these people brought a feeling to her, a sense of peace that always made her almost breathless it was just to powerful to ignore.

"Have you thought about what you might want to do?" He asked very interested about just what Peyton might decide to do career wise.

She had always been the wild card in their little group. Whenever you thought she would do one thing, she would switch it all up and do the exact opposite. And as chaotic as that sounded, it was something Lucas loved about her. She was a mystery even after so long of knowing her.

An amazing surprise that always kept him on his toes.

And even if he had been pressing her for a while, she still hadn't really laid out her plans to him. Even though he had hoped her homecoming would be a permanent one, Peyton had always been a little restless and Lucas had always believed she was meant for great things, he was sure that if the right opportunity came around she would be gone before you could blink. But as selfish as it sounded, he was really hoping you would be around for a while (or forever).

"Actually no…I mean technically its summer, so I thought I might play it by ear for a while." Peyton said with a genuine smile.

Summer had always meant a lot to them and she really did want to spend it leisurely enjoying everyone's company. Walking down the pier with Haley and Brooke for iced coffee. Meeting up with Nathan during the mornings, drawing while he trained at the Rivercourt. Helping Karen occupy Lily during the lunch rush at the café in the afternoons.

Spending all her free time with Lucas.

That was what she wanted. To be home, with her people. With her family.

Plus she had absolutely no idea what she wanted to do.

She may have wisely decided to major in her two favorite interests (art history & music appreciation) and minor in business for the sake of being "a responsible young adult", but now she had no freaking clue what she wanted to do. It was so easy to make all these big plans, these grand illusions of success. But the truth was, Peyton just wasn't sure if she could handle any of those dreams.

Once upon a time- while during high school, which now seems very long ago- Peyton had wanted to open her own business of some sort. Whether that business was in the music or art world she could never decide, but she always pictured herself as this strong willed and successful business women. But now….she's this twenty-two year "adult" who felt like her college diploma was nothing more than a really expensive piece a paper that made her no more prepared than she was at 17.

_**ll **__**And I've lived my life without you long enough.  
>So...<br>I won't do what you told me. ll**_

She was scared, and unsure, and really just wished that things weren't changing so much around her.

Speaking of…

"What about you, how are you and Kate doing? How's the wedding planning coming along?" Peyton asked as she looked over to her friend, faking interest on the topic.

"We're good. We haven't really decided much yet…I think its still a little new you know?" He said, not looking away from the road.

The truth was, they hadn't really even discussed wedding plans. Because really the proposal had been so spontaneous that neither Kate, nor Lucas for that matter, had really had time to digest the magnitude of what a wedding (& marriage) would entail for them. It was safe to say that their relationship had sort of been a quick progression of dating (non-exclusively) to commitment and then proposal, without really considering any of the details.

Like where they lived, Kate definitely had aspirations bigger than Tree Hill.

Or if and when they started a family.

While Lucas had always thought of all those things, he had never envisioned them with Kate, and so while marriage seemed like the right choice, he hadn't really taken into account if that choice was with the right person.

But to be perfectly honest, the couple had been so busy, in their individual pursuits that these decisions hadn't really been on their mind. Lucas had been so busy as of late with his new coaching job, and Kate had been putting in her time back at the paper trying to pay her dues.

"I'm sure you guys will figure it all out." Peyton said supportively.

Because really despite whatever had happened between Peyton and Lucas' fiancé, all she really wanted was for him to be happy. It's what she had always wanted. And if Lucas was happy with Kate, then Peyton would be happy for them.

Okay, that's not entirely true. But she would do what she's been doing for years and years.

Ignoring that nagging and persistent feeling in the pit of her stomach, that feeling that Lucas' happiness, as well as her own, would be found until they were searching for it together.

Quite obviously however she had learned to ignore that gut feeling, because so many moments along the way had also led her to the conclusion that her best friend just didn't feel the same way, and so she would ignore how she felt (like she'd been doing for years and years) and would play the best friend role, and be cordial and friendly to Kate. Because it was the right thing to do. It was her place in all this mess.

"Yeah.." Lucas answered dismissively as he pulled into his mother's café, full well knowing that his mother was absolutely dying to see his blonde friend.

Sure enough as the pair walked into the door, his mother all but dropped whatever she had been putting on the counter and ran forward to give the girl the biggest hug, his little sister trailing behind with just as much enthusiasm.

Yes, Peyton thought as she was surrounded by three of her favorite Scotts it was very good to be home.

Then the door chimed and in walked her other favorite Scotts and her other best friend.

"P. Sawyer!" Brooke all but screeched as she pushed through to get to Peyton before Haley and Nathan to get her hug.

"B. Davis…" Peyton whispered as she held on just as ferociously to her friend.

But then during the middle of welcomes from Haley and Nathan, the door chimed again, and in walked Kate.

Peyton's smile quickly dropped some.

_**ll I won't do what you said (no).  
>I'm not gonna stop feeling,<br>I'm not gonna forget it… ll**_

"_Whoa…" Haley whispered as they inched closer to the apparent couple, who were in fact completely oblivious to who had walked up to them._

_When she looked over and saw Peyton's equally shocked, and clearly heartbroken face, Haley James did what she was known to do. Make her presence known._

"_I should start charging admission to this show. I'm sure I would make a lot more than waitressing." She said loud enough to make the pair break apart from each other. _

_When they did in fact remove their hands from their persons, Brooke squealed when she saw Peyton, and Lucas' equally excited although visibly subdued welcome, let the friends ease the tension, but it did nothing to calm Peyton's racing mind. Especially when it was explained to her that Lucas and Brooke had decided to date._

_It was during this conversation, as the foursome sat on the bleachers, looking out at the river, that Peyton realized it was going to be an interesting summer._

_Not only was she going to have to prove to her father that she was capable of taking care of herself; not only was she going to try to find her place in this town again, getting to know new people and become familiar with old friends, but she was gonna have to be okay with her friends dating each other. And while Haley seemed surprised, but unfazed by the development, it definitely made Peyton feel uncomfortable. _

_Unfortunately, it would be years and years before she realized why that was. _

_Why no matter no Lucas was with, or for that matter who she dated, things never would feel right when other people got between them._

_Or why, just a few weeks later when Lucas and Brooke broke up (both of them realizing they were better as friends), Peyton finally felt completely at home because things went back to the real normal; with her and Lucas being inseparable. _

_Of course she never did see it that way, at least when it mattered._

_Because when she finally did, it was just too late. _

_**ll **__**I don't wanna start over,  
>I don't wanna pretend that<br>you are not my lover,  
>That you're only my friend.<br>My friend,  
>I won't... ll<strong>_

After lunch, everyone seemed to rush back to their grown up lives and responsibilities, Brooke explaining her need to return to the store, Haley back to THH for staff meetings, Nathan to Charlotte for a weekend of practices, and Karen taking Lily to a play date. Eventually, Kate and Peyton ended up as the last one's at the table.

And of course awkward silence ensured. Which Peyton was perfectly fine sitting in until Lucas came back from clearing dishes so he could drive her home. But Kate was having none of it.

"Listen we need to talk.." Kate began as she tried to sound intimidating.

"Excuse me?" Peyton said as she looked away from watching passer bys walk by through the window.

"I know how important you think your are to Lucas, but I want you to understand that while you might be an old friend, I'm going to be _**his wife**_." She said with an obnoxious tone.

"So whatever your guys past might be, I'm his future." Kate finished as she gave Peyton a glare before she got up and walked away to the back kitchen.

While Peyton was certainly feeling a lot from Kate's attempt at a warning, she didn't know what to stay. Undoubtedly, she was shocked that Kate how the guts to say anything, but deep down Peyton wasn't surprised.

There had been tension between the pair since last summer's whole "Bitch Calling" fiasco, and really Peyton had never tried to clear the air, but okay, who did Kate think she was?

Right, Lucas' fiancée.

"You ready?" Lucas asked with a grin as he walked from the back with Kate following close behind.

"Yeah, let's go." Peyton said as she stood and walked out behind the couple.

"Peyton, see you soon." Kate said, with a clear fake smile, as they stood outside of the café.

"Definitely." Peyton answered back equally falsely, already thinking about what Brooke was going to say about Kate once Peyton told her what she had said.

_**ll I'm not gonna stop feeling,  
>I'm not gonna forget it.<br>I don't wanna start over… ll**_

"So…" Lucas said as they once again sat in his car as he made the quick drive to her house.

"So…" Peyton answered somewhat deflated, not at all in the mood for anything but finally getting into her room, with her music and her bed to think (and over think) what had just occurred.

"You know I'm really happy that your home." He admitted, already turning on her block.

"I feel like I've been waiting forever." Lucas said slyly as he stopped in front of her home.

"Yeah?" Peyton asked coyly and just above a whisper.

"Absolutely." He admitted as he took over at her and gave her the classic Lucas Scott grin.

And just like that, Peyton realized that it didn't matter if Kate was Lucas' fiancée. It didn't matter that Kate had "warned" Peyton or whatever. None of it did.

Because that feeling in her gut, the one that had always been there, was back. They were butterflies, tons of them. They were her reminder that her and Lucas' past was big and important, and almost all consuming, and that was never going away.

"I think it's gonna be an interesting summer." Peyton finally responded back.

"With you around, probably." Lucas said as the pair smiled again and finally made their way out of the car.

Lucas went to the trunk and gathered her bags and then walked her to the front door.

"You need me to take these up the stairs?" He asked as motioned upward.

"No I'm good. Thanks Luke. For everything." She said as she gave him a hug, grateful for him, just being _him._

"Of course." He answered as if it was nothing.

"I will see you around Lucas Scott." She told him as a goodbye as he nodded and then began to walk back to his car.

She waited on her front porch, watched him get in and then waved at him as he drove away.

And then Peyton walked inside and leaned against her front door, surrounded by her bags in the middle of her foyer, and she started to process her very eventful day.

Yes, Peyton Sawyer was finally home. Although she might not have had the slightest clue where her life was headed, she was sure that this summer would be one that would finally have her make a choice about just what she should do. And while she was terrified at the thought, she felt like she might just be running out of time, and that if she didn't decide soon, the choice would be made for her.

She just had no idea how true that was.

It was certainly going to be an interesting summer.

_**ll No, I won't,**_

_**I won't. ll**_

_**A/N2:**_So we're finally back to the present, and it sort of feels like a fresh start. While I might do a few minor flashbacks, for the most part, everything from here on out will be based on present context. Again, reviews are appreciated.

Song: "I won't", By: Colbie Caillat


End file.
